GREED: IT’S NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE

So suppose I told you that here in the US, where the very first amendment to our Constitution specifies that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or restricting the free practice thereof,” we in fact have a religion which is not only respected but flat-out enforced by multiple levels of government. This religion is based on an unprovable, counter-intuitive assumption which flies in the face of known science and human behavior. But the government is more than willing to mandate that you participate in this facile sham.

This religion has prophets, chief priests, grand inquisitors, even an honest-to-goodness Sanhedrin or three. And if you refuse to participate in this religion’s required rituals, all these self-appointed theocrats have the power to force you to comply–or even throw you in jail. This all happens right under the nose of our bound-by-the-1st-Amendment government, and nobody, at any level, seems to have any interest in doing anything about it.

The practicioners of this religion use their beliefs to justify interfering with what you do in your own home. They practice their religion to the detriment of legitimate community needs–they’ve been known to oppose services for the handicapped, affordable housing for the working class, even the establishment of homes for the elderly. And, again, they do so with the government’s full blessing, despite the promises of the 1st Amendment.

This religion is founded on a premise so weird, so clearly counter-intuitive, it’s amazing anybody believes in it at all. Yet there’s branches of government, federal, state, and local, whose sole raison d’etre is to ensure that you participate in this religion, whether you’re a believer or not.

What heinous sort of lie could inspire such evil? Funny you should ask . . .

. . . it’s the belief that the value of real estate always goes up.

And if you think I’m kidding, just try letting your yard go back to prairie. First the local “enthusiasts” (as Martin Luther called them) will start to lean on you. Then they’ll call in the government, who will tell you to comply or else. Why? Because *gasp!* you might hurt property values if this goes on too much longer.

Now do you see what I mean?

There’s no reason why real estate should be miraculously exempt from the economic laws which govern every other scarce commodity–and, in fact, it isn’t, as anybody who inherits a house in western North Dakota knows. But we persist in our belief that land is the one guaranteed, can’t-lose investment, certain to appreciate and provide the true American dream–wealth without risk. And the government is more than happy to support our amazing popular delusion, even if it means exposing people to strange risks and depriving them of freedoms we tend to assume are God-given.

Think I’m making this up? There’s a suburb of Kansas City where you are required by law to shingle your roof with cedar shakes–despite the protestations of the local fire department. Why? To preserve property values. Forget about protecting your family from a horrible, fiery death–there’s a 5% annual appreciation rate to protect, after all!

And that, dear reader, is greed in a nutshell–the irrational belief that there’s nothing more important than money and getting more of it.