THE STORY THAT WOULD NOT DIE

Even in exile, Larry Eustachy’s still making news at Iowa State. Seems the ex-Cyclone coach and reknowned former light-beer enthusiast is now appearing in ads for a Des Moines-area sports bar . . . without his consent, of course, and with a curious compatriot beside him: ISU athletic director Bruce Van De Velde, the man who fired Eustachy. Adobe Photoshop strikes again.

Unintentional comedy highlight: an ISU spokesman began the university’s official statement by saying “Iowa State University takes alcohol abuse very seriously.” Anybody who’s ever been in Ames during the VEISHEA festival knows that this is the Understatement of the Century. The owner of the sports bar waxes philosophical about the whole matter:

“We were sensitive to Larry’s battle with alcoholism and therefore we used non-alcoholic beer for the ad,” McKoy said in his statement.

Just in case you figured there was nobody in Iowa with a sense of humor, after all.