PICKIN’ ON THE BIG XII, 9/06 EDITION

7-3 last week, PotBXII was. And that’s all I’ll say about that. This week’s schedule features one huge game, one that could be good, and several Battles of Who Could Care Less. So . . . on with our story!

BAYLOR @ NORTH TEXAS

If you can read this, you’re actually paying attention to this game.

UCLA @ COLORADO

Sheesh. A walkon QB throws for 400+ against a top-25 team, and suddenly everybody thinks he’s Roy Hobbs in shoulder pads. This is the first time CU’s won a season opener since The Gary was still at Northwestern and Slick Rick was still coaching college ball. I like Ralphie’s chances in this one.

THESE PANTS DON’T MATCH MY HANDBAG 21
PANTS? PANTS ARE FOR THE PROLES 42

OHIO @ IOWA STATE

The Cyclopaths struggled mightily with Northern Iowa last week, edging out a 7-point win that almost didn’t happen. The Bobcats also struggled with their 1-AA dessert, barely beating the hardly-fearsome Southeast Missouri State Bootscrapers. ISU’s at a distinct advantage in this game, since Ohio U throws less often than Air Force. Clones learn their lesson, go aggro against the Bobcats, and win a little handier this time.

SYLVESTER 17
TWEETY 38

UNLV @ KANSAS

This would’ve been a great game . . . in 1989, and only if this was basketball.

SIN CITY 24
COLLISON COURSE 10

MCNEESE STATE @ KANSAS STATE

I don’t get what the rap on Bill Snyder’s scheduling is. He beats lots of top-ten teams; it’s just that they’re all top ten in 1-AA. Darren Sproles’ knee is giving the Purple Folk a bit of consternation this week; rest easy, he shan’t be needed.

PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE 0
SHUT UP AND CASH THE CHECK 66

MISSOURI @ BALL STATE

SIgns that the MAC is moving up: They’re starting to get home-and-homes. Try that with a Sun Belt school. Gary Pinkel used to coach in the MAC; he didn’t lose to Ball State then, and he’s not going to now with a better team than he ever had at Toledo.

MOO MOO 34
LETTERMAN U 12

UTAH STATE @ NEBRASKA

What? You mean there’s no get-back game in Logan?

AGGIES 0
SAGGIES 48

OKLAHOMA @ ALABAMA

Could be the game of the week; could be that in six weeks we’ll wonder what we ever saw in either team. I don’t think you can tell a lot from OU’s failure to score more than 30 against North Texas, or from Bama’s letting USF back inthe game. UNT was a bowl team last season, and both those schools may go bowling this year. It comes down to strength vs. weakness, and both those matchups favor OU. Bama’s offense was discombobulated last week, so expect them to have lots of trouble against OU’s much-stiffer defense. OU’s offense will find just enough points against Bama’s defense to win.

STOOPS TROOPS 17
BAN FRAN, MAN 7

WYOMING @ OKLAHOMA STATE

Revenge factor: 147.

COWBOYS (BROWN) 0
COWBOYS (ORANGE) 44

UTAH @ TEXAS A&M

The game Bama fans will turn to once the Tide/Sooners game becomes unwatchable. They might enjoy this one more. Urban Meyer is what Franchione was five years ago: The Next Guy.

SPORT UTES 21
HELLO, MAL? 13

NEW MEXICO @ TEXAS TECH

Both these teams are coming off big wins over Division 1-AA opponents. But there’s just no way the Lobos can hang with the Zorros.

SHERIFFS 14
VIGILANTES 54

Coming next week:
SMU @ Baylor: Death penalty vs. euthanasia
Washington State @ Colorado: Just join the Pac-10 already, CU
Iowa @ Iowa State: Cy keeps the ball rolling?
Kansas @ Wyoming: Game of the Century
Massachusetts @ Kansas State: Why, Georgia, why?
Eastern Illinois @ Missouri: They were available, that’s why
Penn State @ Nebraska: Two coaches fighting for their honor
Fresno State @ Oklahoma: “Alien Autopsy” without the alien
SW Missouri State @ Oklahoma State: For bragging rights in the Joplin metroplex
Arkansas @ Texas: Long live the SWC