PICKIN’ ON THE BIG TEN, 9/20 EDITION

Last week PotB10 went 4-7. If I was Randy Walker, that might be
enough to save my job.

This week features two games which figure to be good, one with strong
upset potential, and several even the Alumni Association plans to
skip. So, let’s get right down to it:

CALIFORNIA @ ILLINOIS: Resistable Force, meet Movable Object. Both
these teams are reeling from troublesome early seasons. I don’t want
to say Jeff Tedford’s team has had a lot of game experience, but
during their first game, the Detroit Tigers hadn’t been mathematically
eliminated yet. These are two good offenses in search of .5 of a good
defense. In the long run, Big Chief’s passing offense will wear out
the pasty Bear secondary, and the Illini get their first win over a
Division I-A team.

TEDDY BEARS 17
CALL YOUR BROTHER, RON 33

KENTUCKY @ INDIANA: I can’t believe ABC passed on this game. I mean,
it’s bound to be a long day for the hapless Hoosiers, but it would be
great fun to watch the pre-Subway Jared pick apart a truly inept
defense. I’m calling my local affiliate, as so as I figure out
whether I live in Madison or Milwaukee. Anyway, KATZ GONNA ROLE!!!

EVERY DAY I WRITE THE BROOKS 40
THE OTHER SIDE OF BASKETBALL SEASON 7

ARIZONA STATE @ IOWA: Forget Michigan-Oregon; this is your Big Ten
Game of the Week, right here. Andrew Walter v. a young but hungry
Iowa secondary that’s already shut out Ben Roethlisberger. Iowa’s
high-energy rushing attack v. ASU’s solid d-line. ASU’s “team of
destiny” aura v. Kinnick Stadium’s snakepit atmosphere. Iowa’s 5 wins
in its last 6 games after beating an opponent with a better-than-.500
record v. ASU’s losing its last 5 road openers. Should be a great
game. Neither team’s really been tested, so this call goes on a
hunch. And I have a hunch that Kirk Ferentz is still EXTREMELY PO’d
at the Pac 10.

UNDERWOOD 24
OVERLOOKED 38

MICHIGAN @ OREGON: The uniform jokes are just too easy. Michigan is
this week’s Best Ascending Team; Oregon has been a little lackluster
in 2 of its 3 games. But the fans will be up for this one, and the
Ducks have nothing to lose but a football game–Michigan could lose
its chance to prove that anything tOSU can do, UM can do better. All
the on-field matchups favor the Wolverines, but I smell an upset in
the works. I like the Ducks in a thrillfest.

(PRE-)LAWYERS IN LOVE 27
DOCTOR, MY EYES 30

MICHIGAN STATE @ NOTRE DAME: Losing to La Techque last week didn’t
(and shouldn’t) inspire confidence in the Sparty faithful: You’ve
still got a LONG row to hoe. Then again, Notre Dame’s offense belongs
in Division II, where the Irish *might* be competitive. Ty
Willingham’s rose is losing some bloom after last week’s
embarrassment. But I think the Irish will bounce back and step on
Sparty’s party.

GREEN CLOVERS 3
THEY’RE MAGICALLY DELICIOUS 7

LOUSIANA-LAFAYETTE @ MINNESOTA: Shameless.

PLACEHOLDER 0
SUBLETTING FROM THE TWINS 66

NORTHWESTERN @ DUKE: As close as we’ll ever get to having a crowd of
40,000 people to watch an underwater pillow fight.

GARY WHO? 13
STEVE WHO? 24

BOWLING GREEN @ OHIO STATE: Just what the mortal-looking Buckeyes
needed: a game against a competent MAC team the week their QB gets
hurt. The Falcons don’t have enough to hang with the Buckeyes, but
this will not be the blowout many are anticipating.

PINSETTERS 21
POISONOUS SEEDS 27

KENT STATE @ PENN STATE: I’ve seen what happens the week after JoePa
gets embarrassed on national TV. ‘Taint purty.

SOUTHEAST CLEVELAND STATE 0
NEUTERED FELINES 34

ARIZONA @ PURDUE: The only question is, will UA fire Mackovic at
halftime, or do they let him coach the whole game?

MILDCATS 7
VETRINARIANS 28

NORTH CAROLINA @ WISCONSIN: By the time this one’s over, the Tar Heels
will wish they’d stayed home and gone through the hurricane.
Wisconsin’s not usually a stinko team two weeks in a row.

HIGH AND DRY 12
CHASTENED 34

Next week: