PICKIN’ ON THE BIG XII, 9/20 EDITION

We’re not going to talk about the record from last week. I’d never be
able to crack any more Baylor jokes if we did.

The two teams in the North who appear to be in the most
jeopardy–Nebraska and Iowa State–are both idle this week, while
Texas tries to rebound from a sloppy loss to Arkansas. In the rest of
the league, there’s the usual parade of dysfunction. So, let’s get on
with it.

SAM HOUSTON @ BAYLOR: Baylor beat SMU, who should be in Division
I-AA. The Sam lost to Montana, who already is. But SHSU has a decent
passing attack, while Baylor has struggled a bit on pass defense.
Factor in that BU’s almost certainly looking ahead to Colorado, and
the upset potential in this one is HUGE. I think The Sam will get it
done.

THIS IS COSTING ME GOOBERPOINTS 24
WHAT WE NEED IS AN AEGIS-CLASS QB 17

COLORADO @ FLORIDA STATE: Just when you thought that CU was finally
over its early-season letdowns, you find out that they merely
postponed them for about three weeks. The loss to Washington State
last week was dreadful, but worse than that, Joel Klatt is gone and
Erik Greenberg was shaky in backup. Plus CU’s rushing game has gone
AWOL. All in all, this is a terrible time to be visiting Tallahassee,
even if F$U isn’t what it was. I don’t think the Seminoles will have
too much trouble with Colorado.

PREY 12
HUNTERS 31

JACKSONVILLE STATE @ KANSAS: Look out, KU’s about to go on a 3-game
winning streak. Sadly, since JSU is a I-AA team, this game won’t help
the Jayhawks become bowl-eligible.

DADDY NEEDS A NEW LIBRARY 10
THE BEST GAME IN TOWN, FOR 8 MORE WEEKS 34

MARSHALL @ KANSAS STATE: This would’ve been a great game . . . three
years ago. Marshall is not playing good football right now, which
will make it very easy for K-State to roll into the Big XII season
oblivious to any weaknesses it may have. No more comments about
K-State’s scheduling, though. I finally figured out it doesn’t hurt
*me.*

WHEN’S THE JAGS GAME START? 13
WHEN’S THE SEASON START? 28

MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE @ MISSOURI: MTSU is the team that gave it up to
Florida Atlantic, you may recall. Lots of people have gotten beat by
Howard Schnellenberger over the years; it’s just that, well, most of
them were *supposed* to. Mizzou, on the other hand, looks solid and
should have no trouble sending the Blue Raiders back to Nashville a
little bit bluer than before.

LITTLE TITANS 7
BETTER THAN THE BENGALS 38

UCLA @ OKLAHOMA: UCLA couldn’t score on Illinois. What do they think
they’re going to do against the Sooners?

MY JERSEY BRINGS OUT MY EYES 0
WE MEAN NO OFFENSE 10

OKLAHOMA STATE @ SMU: The Les Miles Revenge Tour continues in Dallas.

JOSH FIELDS 34
LOVE FIELD 3

TEXAS @ RICE: Chicken Soup for the Suicidal Longhorn’s Soul.

ENTREE 66
SIDE DISH 7

TEXAS A&M @ VIRGINIA TECH: With Isabel out of the way, both teams
should be able to get their rushing games in sync. I can see Kevin
Jones getting 180 yards or more against the Aggies’ young front 7. I
don’t think the Hokies can lose this game, I really feel it.

FARMERS 19
FARMED 35

TEXAS TECH @ NC STATE: The good news for the Wolfpack is that Philip
Rivers finally proved he can play well against a good opponent. The
bad news is, the whole team’s running on fumes after that Everlasting
Gobstopper in Columbus last week. Meanwhile, quietly, Tech has been
bringing the pain to its OOC patsies. It would be a big statement for
the Zorros to shut down NC State in its own stadium, and late
September is a good time to start sending statements. Unless you’re a
bank; then, you’d better get them out earlier in the month. Anyway,
Tech pulls a mild upset.

WE’RE MAKING LOTS OF RIVALS NOW 28
IS THE STADIUM STILL STANDING? 20

Next week: