3/15/2004
BRACKETOSOPHY
Here it is, as promised: a complete, useless guide to picking teams in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Before we begin, a couple quick disclaimers:
- This guide is for entertainment purposes only. Any attempts to make money off of the advice presented herein will almost certainly be met with failure, derision, and the icy glare of an indifferent universe.
- The author of this information has not seen a college basketball game all season, and can’t recall watching one last year, either. In fact, the author’s last clear and distinct college basketball viewing memory involves Acie Earl. Therefore, in case item 1 didn’t convince you, you are taking your financial future in your own hands, then shoving those hands down an operating garbage disposal, if you think this advice is worthwhile.
- As may be inferred from the previous item, the author is an Iowa Hawkeye fan; therefore, college basketball has been dead to him for several years now.
- The author admits a moral bias against gambling; therefore, do not discount the possibility that he has deliberately placed false information and/or bad advice in here in an effort to get you your just deserts.
- No, the last word of the previous item is not misspelled.
Alrighty then! Let’s start by breaking down what is certainly the most anticipated matchup of the entire first round:
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