TEN RANDOM THOUGHTS #2

1. You can tell a lot about a person by which kind of Cheetos he or she prefers. Myself, it’s crunchy all the way. I’m not sure I’d trust a puffy-Cheeto partisan.
2. There is no spring in Wisconsin. The seasons shift, clutchlessly, from winter to summer. I thought of that today–it’s 83 degrees where I am right now–as I watched people walking around in shorts with parkas tied around their waists.
3. I used to feel very self-conscious about the fact that I used to play Dungeons and Dragons and read “fantasy” literature. Then I remembered the sort of stuff most guys fantasize about. Forget it. The average guy is about as likely to meet an evil wizard’s army of zombies as he is to meet Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jessica Simpson making out in a hot tub; what difference does the subject of your fantasy make?
4. Today was the Jim Rome “smackoff.” I listened for a few painful minutes. I still say Rome would have a better show if he never, ever took another phonecall from the public. The “smackoff” reminds me of why–because even the “jungle legends” aren’t interesting, aren’t funny, and aren’t original.
5. How come is it that, when I’m working, I get the jones for lunch around 11:30, but on my days off, I’m not even hungry at 2 pm?
6. I just realized that #3 on this list is going to get me a bunch of unintentional Google hits. Why do I persistently ignore my own axioms of blogging?
7. Seasonal allergies are an effective weapon of Satan. I’m surprised more people don’t realize this–they strike just as the weather is getting nice, and leave you just sick enough that you can’t enjoy the change of seasons. But of course, they never make you too sick to go to work. Only Satan could devise such a fiendish plague.
8. On Dan Patrick’s radio program today, they were invoking the names of minor major-leaguers of the past. While it’s always great fun to hear about Dickie Thon, Oddibe McDowell, and Atlee Hammaker, what I want to know is this: Whatever happened to Joe Charbonneau?
9. Never, ever go to the grocery store when you’re hungry, and if you do, don’t accept a free sample of anything, and if you do, don’t wander off to a different part of the store, then come back from a different direction in the hopes that the sample lady won’t recognize you, and if she doesnt, don’t take the second sample, no matter how good it is. Because that would be wrong. And you’ll wind up spending $75, though you just may corner the world snack-cracker market.
10. Both of my pinkies have weird-shaped fingernails. Should I be concerned?