IT’S LIKE RAAAIIIIIINN . . .

Ironically, Zygote has reproduced. Congratulations!

TEN RANDOM THOUGHTS #3

1. “I can remember when you could tell the difference between VH1 and E!” is the new “I can remember when MTV actually played videos.“
2. There are a lot of consumer products that would make excellent seeds for a horror movie, like Night of the Playtex Living Gloves.
3. I do not give a flying fig what John Kerry may or may not have done with his medals thirty years ago. I also don’t care if George Bush was AWOL back in his Air National Guard days. I have come to decide that, strictly speaking, nobody deserves to be president–but somebody has to be. And I could not possibly care less what that person was like when they were in their twenties. We’ve had exactly two presidents in my lifetime who were morally qualified for the job, and they both bombed (Ford and Carter). Give me a lying, cheating, backstabbing clod any day of the week–they actually get things done.
4. It’s great fun to embrace your inner geek. Lately I’ve been re-reading the Dragonlance books and having the time of my life. It’s so refreshing to read a novel that’s about something other than a sensitive person being misunderstood by a society which refuses to see life through his or her eyes. If I ever pick up a copy of The New Yorker again, I hope I leave my crap detector turned on.
5. Pretty soon, you will never be more than a three-minute drive from a place where you can purchase the following products: a mocha Frappuccino, a chicken burrito the size of your head, NASCAR memorabilia, a cell phone, or an oil change. The entire universe will be one Mobius-strip mall without beginning or end.
6. Any claim I’ve ever made to being a coffee geek is hereby voided by the fact that I’m currently waiting for my latest pot to brew up: $1.99 a pound Aldi house-brand decaf that I found under the sink, where it had been undisturbed for a few months.
7. It’s currently 45 degrees where I am. That’s all the warmer it’s going to get today. I feel like renting a movie and burying myself on the couch beneath a blanket, not to emerge until the 4th of July
8. Ever been to a worship service where the music reminded you of cocktail jazz? Me either, at least until yesterday.
9. I’m back with that $1.99 coffee. While the brew has an unpleasant, mushroom-like flavor at first, the finish is wonderful–clean and acidic with nary a hint of unpleasant oiliness. I’m pretty sure that what I’m drinking is what they sweep off the floor at the Maxwell House plant, but I’ve paid $4 for cups of coffee I’ve enjoyed less.
10. It’s so cute how I keep telling myself “Hang on, next week will be a little less busy,” and then “next week” turns out to be not unlike trying to drink from a firehose. I really amuse myself sometimes.