5/1/2004
TEN RANDOM THOUGHTS #3
- “I can remember when you could tell the difference between VH1 and E!” is the new “I can remember when MTV actually played videos.“
- There are a lot of consumer products that would make excellent seeds for a horror movie, like Night of the Playtex Living Gloves.
- I do not give a flying fig what John Kerry may or may not have done with his medals thirty years ago. I also don’t care if George Bush was AWOL back in his Air National Guard days. I have come to decide that, strictly speaking, nobody deserves to be president–but somebody has to be. And I could not possibly care less what that person was like when they were in their twenties. We’ve had exactly two presidents in my lifetime who were morally qualified for the job, and they both bombed (Ford and Carter). Give me a lying, cheating, backstabbing clod any day of the week–they actually get things done.
- It’s great fun to embrace your inner geek. Lately I’ve been re-reading the Dragonlance books and having the time of my life. It’s so refreshing to read a novel that’s about something other than a sensitive person being misunderstood by a society which refuses to see life through his or her eyes. If I ever pick up a copy of The New Yorker again, I hope I leave my crap detector turned on.
- Pretty soon, you will never be more than a three-minute drive from a place where you can purchase the following products: a mocha Frappuccino, a chicken burrito the size of your head, NASCAR memorabilia, a cell phone, or an oil change. The entire universe will be one Mobius-strip mall without beginning or end.
- Any claim I’ve ever made to being a coffee geek is hereby voided by the fact that I’m currently waiting for my latest pot to brew up: $1.99 a pound Aldi house-brand decaf that I found under the sink, where it had been undisturbed for a few months.
- It’s currently 45 degrees where I am. That’s all the warmer it’s going to get today. I feel like renting a movie and burying myself on the couch beneath a blanket, not to emerge until the 4th of July
- Ever been to a worship service where the music reminded you of cocktail jazz? Me either, at least until yesterday.
- I’m back with that $1.99 coffee. While the brew has an unpleasant, mushroom-like flavor at first, the finish is wonderful–clean and acidic with nary a hint of unpleasant oiliness. I’m pretty sure that what I’m drinking is what they sweep off the floor at the Maxwell House plant, but I’ve paid $4 for cups of coffee I’ve enjoyed less.
- It’s so cute how I keep telling myself “Hang on, next week will be a little less busy,” and then “next week” turns out to be not unlike trying to drink from a firehose. I really amuse myself sometimes.
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I use that MTV line in my classes all the time.
And as both my wife my graduate assistant would point out: I use #10 all the time, save that I susbstitue “sememster” or “academic year” for “week.”
Comment by Steven — 5/1/2004 @ 10:36 am
clean and acidic with nary a hint of unpleasant oiliness.
Sort of like that Robin Williams line abouyt wine tasting: “Absurd, yet flaccid.”
Comment by Jim Roberts-Miller — 5/1/2004 @ 6:03 pm
“Mobius-strip mall” Call Oxford! A new phrase has entered the English tongue.
Comment by SS — 5/1/2004 @ 6:59 pm
Cocktail jazz? When you start hearing porno jazz at a church service, then you’ll know things have changed.
Comment by Alan Kellogg — 5/2/2004 @ 7:54 am
The Dragonlance books were wonderfully written, though I was unimpressed with the final three (the “War of Souls”) - it was mostly an effort by Weis and Hickman to undo all the stupid changes that had been made to the product line since they stopped writing.
As for the coffee, my girlfriend describes old coffee as tasting like feet. I’ve never tasted a foot, but it doesn’t seem very appealing.
Comment by Dave — 5/2/2004 @ 9:38 am
Dave, you don’t read much, do you? I became interested in the story, despite the writing. Which actually makes the composition in The Prism Pentad almost 5th grade in quality by comparison. You’ve heard of leaden prose? Try transuranic on for size.
Reminded me of a version of The Bible written in (1980s’) street lingo. Prose as written by people linguistically tone deaf.
BTW, did you know Sturm Brightblade died because his player left the game? If that don’t tell you something about the railroading going on…
Let me put it this way, had the trilogy been a write-up of one of my campaigns the minor characters alone would’ve been replaced at least twice. One of the worst influences on D&D outside of computer games.
Comment by Alan Kellogg — 5/2/2004 @ 6:59 pm
The Dragonlance prose is a little purple for my tastes as well. Of course, compared to Gary Gygax’s notoriously dense writing, it reads like Hemingway.
I’ve actually been reading the annotated version of the Chronicles, where both Hickman and Weis make it clear that (a) they knew they weren’t doing their best writing, and (b) the process of converting the game to a novel proved to be much harder than they anticipated . . . so much so that, by the start of the second book, they’d given up on it altogether.
I do agree, Alan, that the book might give one a very optimistic view of the longevity of an AD&D character. The notes make it clear that, in the first book, none of the characters are above fourth level–Raistlin, the “powerful” mage, hadn’t even made it that far–and yet, they managed to defeat an adult black dragon, something that’s impossible for such low-level characters. Of course, Goldmoon also resurrected Riverwind *before* she became a cleric of Mishakal, but I suppose that’s beside the point.
Interestingly, Hickman noted that much of the theology of Dragonlance reflects his own Mormon beliefs–you’ll recall that Goldmoon was trying restore an ancient faith, the secrets of which were written on disks she just “happened” to find. Hmm . . . sounds familiar!
Comment by Mark Hasty — 5/2/2004 @ 9:17 pm
Admittedly, the writing is slightly juvenile, but so was Asimov’s, and he is still considered one of the great SF authors.
When evaluating the Dragonlance books, I tend to ignore the fact that they were written about characters in someone’s D&D campaign. Sure, there are mechanisms written into the story to account for the unusual magic system, but it never came into my mind to wonder what level a particular character was.
As for the rather tenuous link to Mormonism - I never considered it, but it certainly doesn’t bother me. I appreciate unique mythologies in fantasy. Mormonism, in nearly every way, is very unique.
I think what appeals to me the most are the values of the authors that come through in the work. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that this is also one of the reasons Mark likes the novels.
Comment by Dave — 5/2/2004 @ 9:45 pm
I’ve never been able to finish anything by Asimov, though I’ve always wanted to read his guide to the Bible. Now, Harlan Ellison, there’s a sci-fi writer.
And you’re right, Dave, I do enjoy reading novels with characters who have values other than epater le bourgeoisie. Which raises the question of why I’ve never even finished The Fellowship of the Ring.
Next I’m starting in on the Greyhawk Classics books. I am fanboy, hear me bleat.
Comment by Mark Hasty — 5/2/2004 @ 10:07 pm
“Dave, you don’t read much, do you?”
I read all the time, actually. Everything from the classics to Newsweek, though I admit I am a bit of a fantasy/SF buff. I am not a critic, however, and I try to appreciate each book for what it is, rather than comparing it to the work of other authors.
There *are* a few things that can turn me off to a book. Poor character development (Terry Goodkind), lack of plot (Mercedes Lackey), juvenile fixation on sex (Piers Anthony), and heavy use of cliche (any of the above) are all reasons I’ll stop reading.
Like I said before, though, the level of writing usually doesn’t affect me one way or the other. If Asimov hadn’t been accessible to me as a pre-teen, I might not have gotten into science fiction. Had Tolkien’s writing been simpler, I would have enjoyed the Lord of the Rings more when I first read it as a child.
Comment by Dave — 5/2/2004 @ 10:16 pm
“I am fanboy, hear me bleat.”
I try to avoid books based on games - though the Dragonlance novels are an exception because I was introduced to them before I ever played D&D.
I can, however, recommend a book based on the D&D “Planescape” franchise, called “Pages of Pain”. It’s very well written, though it’s powerfully depressing in a way that makes Vonnegut novels look cheery. Mind you, I really like Vonnegut.
Comment by Dave — 5/2/2004 @ 10:22 pm
I’ve never read the Dragonlance books.
MH, you are a heretic and pagan for saying a Mean Thing about Asimov.
I don’t drink coffee, mushroom-like or otherwise.
And, I’ve been for the past 30 ueats trying to recover from Zelazny’s ‘Lord Of Light’.
Also, if cocktail jazz was written after 1905, there’s no chance it will be heard in my church, apparently.
Comment by Harry — 5/3/2004 @ 9:56 am
what the %&^*# is a ueat? PerhapsI meant years.
Comment by Harry — 5/3/2004 @ 9:57 am
Perhaps you should start drinking coffee . . .
Comment by Mark Hasty — 5/3/2004 @ 10:01 am
I have yet to read a professionally published game write-up worth the paper it was printed on. Stories influenced by games are another matter.
Thomas Harlan’s The Oath of Empire series has bits and pieces from Vampire: the Masquerade, Mythus, and Call of Cthulhu among others. All in a fantasy alternate history Roman Empire which features the Prophet Mohammed as a hero.
Then you have Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, which started out as a write up of some D&D adventures, then became the tales of Rincewind and his ambulatory, psychopathic, carnivorous steamer trunk, before becoming the series we know today.
Comment by Alan Kellogg — 5/3/2004 @ 10:48 pm
Let He Who Is Without Blame…
What was I saying? Oh yeah, made me think. Er… Oh yeah -
I’m 22 years old. This time about two years ago I had a fairly severe gambling problem. I won £4,000 in one night (not a problem), but lost £3,000 the following night (problem). Sure, I…
Trackback by Sortapundit — 5/4/2004 @ 2:03 pm
Mark, where’s the location for those chicken burritos? I’m hungry!
Comment by Sean Hackbarth — 5/5/2004 @ 12:18 am
I said “pretty soon,” Sean. For now, the Qdoba in Fox Point will have to do. But I’m sure there will soon be one in Monotony Falls.
Comment by Mark Hasty — 5/5/2004 @ 9:25 pm