5/6/2004
AMONG FRIENDS
In case you hadn’t noticed, the last new ‘Friends’ episode airs tonight. I am going to watch it with my wife. The official New Millenium Real Man Code requires me to state that I’m only watching it to humor her, that I hate the show, I don’t care how it ends, and TV will be better when it’s gone.
I can’t really say that, though. Why? Firstly, because NBC will just drop another reality show in the time slot. ‘Friends’ may be a melodramatic, unrealistic sitcom, but it’s probably kept some lousy high-concept reality show off the air for the last four years. For that alone it deserves the respect of anyone with an ounce of human decency. If you think I’m wrong, I hereby sentence you to watch every minute of “Who Wants to Fear Real World Maternity Survivor Apprentice Dates,” airing this fall on NBC, 8 pm Eastern on Thursday nights. There are some things worse than people living in apartments they could never afford in real life. Watching scrub quarterbacks try to date psychotic women is one of those things; seeing college students eat 30-year-old fish brains is another.
Secondly, even though I’m not a fan of the show, I do really want a final answer to the Ross and Rachel question. (I’m pretty sure that answer is going to be, “No, they don’t,” but I digress.) For ten years that’s been the dynamic driving the show, and it’s the last epic storyline left in TV. “Frasier” has resolved all of its big questions; hence, it’s departing quietly and Kelsey Grammer can finally play another character. (He’s been portraying Frasier for nineteen years, in case you’re keeping track.) But Ross and Rachel remains unresolved. If I watch the ending and see the answer, I can feel like I know enough of the story to satisfy myself.
Thirdly, the end of ‘Friends’ will bring a little peace to my house. No longer will my wife have to wonder whether she’s going to watch ‘Survivor’ or ‘Friends’ on Thursday nights. I assure you, this is no small consideration.
Lastly, with ‘Friends,’ ‘Frasier,’ and ‘The Drew Carey Show’ all leaving the air within weeks of each other, that leaves only ‘The Simpsons’ to carry the banner of quality comedy on TV. And whatever brings greater glory to Homer is just fine with me. Plus it’s nice that there’s still one show on that I used to watch when I was in high school.
That’s my final word on ‘Friends.’ You want more reaction? That’s what LiveJournal is for.
NOW EVERYBODY’S GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT KIMCHEEBOYS
I may have nuked the ‘Cars’ category, but I’m still paying attention. Straight out of the ‘whoda thunk it’ file comes word that there’s a surprising manufacturer tied for second on the most recent JD Power Vehicle Initial Quality survey, which tracks the number of problems new-vehicle owners encounter in the first 90 days of ownership.
Hey, I’d buy one.
THE HECK WITH IT
Being a fake Dadist is hard work. Back to normalcy.
MANIFESTO
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Or else.
C’EST N’EST-CE PAS LE JOUR DU DADAISME � LE PARC DU B�MUSEMENT
When the pawn told the purple to ferret the anomie with stripes, the square circle was triangulated by the Episcopalianism of the brother’s. There is not a line through this sentence. So the 46 of the afterthought was plaidicated on the banks of the Seine, to get to the other side. If that causes MONKEY to offer WEASEL the politician of SPATULA blueberry resonance some fresh garrulous contrails, who is man that he should spit against the wind? Lieutenant! Bring me some fresh crayons!