58 FACTS ABOUT . . .

I didn’t realize this was a meme until I read it over at Dean Esmay’s site. I suppose I could find something else to do, but I really hate Survivor, so here goes.

100 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT THIS HERE BLOGGER, PART THE FIRST

1. The only things in my author bio that are true: I am married, I do have a stepdaughter, I have voluntarily gone to Fargo, I’ve never watched Star Trek, and that thing with the chicken really happened.

2. Yes, it’s my real name, and yes, it’s pronounced exactly how it looks. I am blessed to have a name that serves as the brief instructions for the Wonderlic test.

3. I have been an amateur musician since the age of eight. I sing and play four instruments, though not all at the same time.

4. In fact, I paid part of my way through seminary by playing drums and singing background vocals in a country band.

5. As you might guess from #4, I’m an ordained minister. I’m serving a parish here in Wisconsin.

6. You’re an atheist? So are many of my best friends.

7. The only thing about contemporary atheism which really bothers me is when people lump us mainline, liberal Protestants in with everybody else and refer to us generically as “organized religion.” It’s unfair to say that people in my denomination are no different from the folks at Smilin’ Bob’s Steakhouse and Fundamentalist Worship Center–and besides, as anybody who’s ever had dealings with a mainline church can tell you, calling us “organized” is a huge stretch.

8. Nevertheless, I’ll admit that there’s much in contemporary Christianity which deserves criticism.

9. And, in case you’re wondering, I’m paid a salary (I don’t just take what I want out of the offering plate), I have no idea who gives what to my congregation, I don’t know the combination to the safe, and I can’t even sign a check for the church. OK?

10. Yes, I’ve been asked those questions before.

11. I wouldn’t say I can prove God exists. I wouldn’t say you can, either.

12. To me, faith is an existential commitment–we believe because we have found a way we want to understand the world, a way which inspires us to become the persons we wish we were.

13. So now you understand #6 a little better, no?

14. I quit organized athletic activity after the fourth grade. I played soccer in high school and would have gone out for my school team if they had had one.

15. I’ve received my worst injuries from playing tennis.

16. I love college football. I barely follow the NFL. Most other sports bore me–especially baseball. I would rather watch an Oprah marathon than a televised baseball game. I will go to a live baseball game, but I’ll scarcely watch it.

17. The only sport in which I participate these days is weightlifting. Unlike most people, I’ve gotten significantly stronger physically as I’ve passed from my late 20s to my early 30s.

18. I have never used any illegal drugs, nor have I ever smoked or chewed tobacco.

19. I have, however, drank so much coffee that I required medical attention.

20. I have lived in six states, all of which border either Iowa or Minnesota.

21. I turned down a four-year full-ride academic scholarship to this place because every time I visited campus, I could smell the nearby stockyards.

22. It’s a good thing I did, too–by the time I hit the middle of my sophomore year, I was within 0.03 of a grade point from being kicked out of school. I would’ve lost the scholarship.

23. I wound up graduating on time, magna cum laude, with a 3.92 GPA in my major. I hate to say it, but resurrecting my academic life is probably the greatest thing I’ll ever accomplish.

24. I entered college intending to become a mechanical engineer. I switched my major to music education, then English, and transferred to a different school to study accounting. I wound up with a Bachelor of Science degree in philosophy (don’t ask), undecided whether I wanted to attend seminary or library school.

25. I think I made the right choice, but I’d be a killer reference librarian.

26. I am not especially fond of Italian food. Generally, the less authentic it is, the more I like it. And I loathe fettucini Alfredo.

27. No male in my family has ever lived his entire life within 50 miles of his birthplace. We’ve all moved at least twice.

28. I was a DJ at my college radio station. I remember playing an obscure band called Nirvana one cold winter morning. I thought, “Not bad, but I think I like the Style Council better.”

29. In addition to my “official” career, I’ve also worked as an office manager, a librarian, a Christmas tree salesman, a cafeteria cashier, and a maitre d’.

30. I used a mainframe computer for the first time in 1978.

31. I did not own a personal computer from 1988 to 1997.

32. An F4 tornado ripped apart my home town when I was five. Ever since then, I’ve been both fascinated and frightened by severe weather. I consider myself a pretty fair self-taught meteorologist.

33. I have seen three tornadoes: a small one in northwest Missouri which touched down less than 300 yards from my car, a slightly larger one from a greater distance in Nebraska, and a jumbo frightmonster in southern Minnesota.

34. One of the most beautiful two-word phrases, to my ears, is “public library.”

35. You know the person at the grocery store who comes charging out the end of the aisle pushing a cart at 35 MPH with a scary expression on his face who looks at you like you’re a used Kleenex because you’re not moving as fast as he is? Well, that’s me.

36. When the movie Tron came out, I saw it three times in seven days. It was the last Disney movie I’ve ever watched.

37. I will not voluntarily eat at McDonald’s after 10:30 in the morning.

38. I am very cagey about my political affiliation.

39. In fact, six years of ministry have taught me how to avoid expressing an opinion about anything for as long as possible.

40. I once won the Tuesday Morning Quarterback Challenge. My prize was a Kenny Mayne bobblehead doll. It is proudly displayed in my office window, right next to my Charlie Brown and Snoopy.

41. Yes, you read the last item right.

42. The only TV show I watch regularly is Good Eats.

43. I liked Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football.

44. My favorite city? St. Paul.

45. There are only two vegetables which everyone in my house will eat: Corn and kohlrabi.

46. I am not ashamed to be seen driving a minivan. In fact, I wish I’d bought one sooner.

47. I cannot sleep in a moving vehicle.

48. For some reason, I have to watch SportsCenter every Sunday morning before I go to work.

49. I am not quite halfway done with this list, and it feels quite inane.

50. October is the reason I could never leave the Midwest.

51. Also, I sweat any time the temperature gets over 75.

52. I am violently allergic to fresh-cut grass.

53. So if you want to make me suffer, come over and mow my lawn.

54. I prefer cats to dogs. Dogs are too needy, and cats are much more fun to watch.

55. I’m not a city person. If I can see my neighbors, I get claustrophobic.

56. I had every material possession I’d ever dreamed of by the time I was 27 years old. Well, except for a ColecoVision, but I don’t want one any more.

57. I am a gamer, and I make no apologies for that. Video games, computer games, card games, board games, role-playing games . . . I love ‘em all.

58. Tylenol has absolutely no effect on me.

I will finish this some other time, once I can actually think of 41 more facts about myself.