ELEVENTH RANDOM THOUGHT

If the Olympics were being held in the US this summer, what sort of reaction would Iraqi athletes get?

TEN RANDOM THOUGHTS #4

1. The Moises Alou jokes have had even less shelf life than the Freddy Adu ones. It’s especially rich coming from sportswriters, most of whom have probably peed all over their hands by accident more often than Moises Alou has done it on purpose.
2. Freshly grilled hot dogs will melt right through a styrofoam plate. The perhaps wouldn’t happen if (a) I had a real grill instead of essentially a cake pan with a drain rack over it, and (b) I had better charcoal so I didn’t have to dump half a can of lighter fluid on it just to get it to burn. Still, the first grilled hot dog of the season always tastes great.
3. I’m going to start the International Move Daylight Savings Time Another Hour Ahead Society. I’m getting powerfully sick of being awaked by the sun before 6 in the morning, and it’s only mid-May. What do I care if it’s light at 11 in June? I don’t go to bed before midnight anyway!
4. I eat at McDonald’s once a week: Sunday mornings at breakfast. Despite my reputation as the George Steinbrenner of junk food, that’s the only fast food I eat in the typical week. My Sunday morning repast is tasty enough, but then I remember the how good the old Hardee’s steak & egg biscuit was, and it about makes me cry.
5. Every once in a while I’ve had a horrible thought about a story that’s very much been in the news this week. It can’t possibly be true, which is why I’m keeping it to myself, but if it were true, it would be the worst thing ever to happen. And I can’t stand the fact that there’s a still, small voice inside of me that says it just might be true. If I were a journalist, I’d be investigating. But I’m just some dip with a $5 pre-fab website. However, if it does happen to be true, I’ll be the first to say, “I almost told you so.”
6. The last two days have been absolutely perfect weather here–clear, dry, temps in the upper 60s/low 70s, and just a little breeze. I’m so glad spring happened on a weekend this year. Most years, it falls on a Tuesday or Wednesday, and I’m too busy to enjoy it.
7. I’m currently in an “in between obsessions” phase. Usually my obsessions are cyclical and I can predict what’s coming next. But I’m coming out of a “fantasy novels and role-playing games” phase, and I haven’t had one of those in about four years. I can’t remember what’s supposed to come next. I think it’s art, but I’m not sure. When I figure out what it is, I’ll let you know.
8. When your printer tells you it’s running out of toner, it’s probably not kidding. The time to find this out is definitely not at 6:20 on Sunday morning as you’re printing the last page of your sermon.
9. Signs that it’s rhubarb season in Wisconsin: This morning at our church coffee hour, we had rhubarb bread and rhubarb coffeecake. Last week we had something else with rhubarb. I like rhubarb, so this is not a problem. However, I most emphatically am not looking forward to zucchini season. In my opinion, zucchini are weapons of biological warfare and as such should be buried in Utah, then blown up with powerful explosives.
10. I could really go for a cup of coffee. I think I’m glad this is #10 on the list.

IS THERE LIFE AFTER SITCOMS?

According to one 70s icon, “Play ball!”