TURN ON THE LIGHTS AND SEE WHAT SCATTERS

Mythusmage is wondering if there isn’t a second wave of military activity in the Middle East about to be set loose. It’s an interesting twist, and I think he might be on to something. Not that I want it to be right, but let’s just say it wouldn’t surprise me if he was.

YOU HAD A TAKE, AND IT SUCKED

From the Chicago Tribune (via the San Jose Mercury News) comes word that Jim Rome may have worn out his welcome in Chicago, and his show may be on the way to the wee small hours:

Unless ratings improve dramatically this spring, WMVP-AM 1000 will designate Rome’s 11 a.m.-1 p.m. show for reassignment. The entire program could be knocked off the air completely, or more likely, shifted on tape to an obscure night slot.

The reason is simple: Rome isn’t delivering listeners. In the winter Arbitron book, the show only did a 2.4 rating among men ages 25 to 54, the most important demographic for sports-talk radio.

[. . .]

WMVP had to wedge in Rome as part of a deal between Premiere Radio Networks, Rome’s syndicator, and Disney, which owns the station. Premiere Radio was willing to pay WMVP a reported $300,000 because it wanted Rome’s show on the air in Chicago. Other considerations also are part of the package.

WMVP received a national personality who is the host of ESPN’s “Rome is Burning,” and whose radio show runs on 185 stations throughout the country. But his success hasn’t translated to Chicago.

Industry insiders say that with the exception of a Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern, it is difficult for a syndicated show to crack this market. That generalization, however, doesn’t fit completely because Patrick’s national program does well on WMVP.

A more accurate reason can be found comparing the formats of Rome and Patrick. Patrick’s approach is subtler, tongue-in-cheek. It’s fun and opinionated without banging you over the head.

Rome wields the sledgehammer. Even his Web site says he is known “for his aggressive, informed, rapid-fire dialogue.”

The show tries to be edgy, going as far as to develop its own lingo. He welcomes guests to “The Jungle,” and his faithful listeners are known as “Clones.”

According to one local insider, “Shtick doesn’t sell in Chicago.” Clearly, local listeners aren’t buying.

Great. Now, could somebody please get him off the air in Milwaukee and/or Madison? I want 3 hours of the Herd, and of Dan Patrick.

THE SEVEN PER CENT SOLUTION

Jason Whitlock has the solution to the recruiting ills at the University of Colorado:

CU’s problems would be solved simply by outlawing the use of alcohol by its athlete-students. Any scholarship athlete caught consuming alcohol and/or failing a randomly-administered breathalyzer test would lose his or her scholarship, permanently. Zero tolerance.

Here is a solution so simple and so certain to succeed that it could never possibly be implemented. After all, if CU banned alcohol and other schools didn’t, just think of the recruiting advantage those other schools would gain: “Why you wanna go to CU and be treated like a kid? Come here and be a real man!” It would solve the problem of recruiting scandals, in much the same way that decapitation cures dandruff.

Look, there are three things we tolerate in society despite the fact that we know they’re not very good for us: Alcohol, gambling, and pornography. We (and by “we” I don’t necessarily mean me, since I barely use the first and don’t use the other two) tolerate them because we know it’s very difficult for most people to be 100% good 100% of the time. There’s a responsible way to use alcohol; there’s probably a responsible way to use gambling; porno, I’m not so sure about.

But, being Americans, we prefer excess to success. Why have a drink or two to ease the pressures of life when you can have twelve drinks and forget who you are completely? Pretty soon our use of alcohol goes from a (mostly) harmless diversion to a sense of entitlement.

I attended a “party school,” and, while I can’t say I’ve never been drunk, I’d imagine my consumption of alcohol was probably in the bottom 5% of students at my school. I really grew to loathe the sense of entitlement my classmates felt regarding alcohol–getting drunk and staying drunk from Thursday night until Monday morning was regarded as the true mission of college, and classes were simply an impediment to that goal. It disgusted me, because I knew it was cheapening my degree. When riots broke out at this fall’s homecoming, I took my diploma off the wall. I’ve even seriously considered getting a second bachelor’s degree just to lose the “party school” stigma. And the irony is, I got a great education. But for all the argle-bargle and jawflap regarding the need to get binge drinking under control, nobody ever does anything about it.

You see, colleges need students to survive. And in today’s world, that means countenancing a certain amount of booze-soaked money business. CU’s faculty may not be happy with its “#1 party school in America” reputation–but it brings in lots of out-of-state students and their tuition dollars. So I’m not surprised that CU ultimately chose not to rock the boat. And neither will anybody else. America’s colleges are about fifteen years too late to do anything about the problem of alcohol abuse.