BYE-BYE JULY

Wow. Just a little over two hours and it’ll be August.

Looking at the calendar, I see I posted something 30 out of 31 days this month. I think that qualifies me as being in need of a life.

August’s posting schedule will have some bucktoothed gaps in it, as we go on our last pre-baby road trip, and this blog relocates from a quiet patch of countryside to the Milwaukee burbs.

As always, thanks for reading. Some bloggers say they blog for their own purposes; hey, I blog for you.

A CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEKEND

OK, I’m not actually going to vote for Ronnie James Dio in November. In fact, I don’t know who I’m going to vote for. I do know I’m just about thiiisssssssss close to tuning out not merely politics, but talk about politics as well.

But I haven’t given up hope. Even in what is shaping up to be 1988 redux I think–I WANT to think–that it’s still possible to make a case for either Bush or Kerry in a throughly positive vein.

So that’s my challenge to anyone who will accept it. I want to know all the positive reasons why you support the candidate you do. I don’t want to hear that your candidate’s not the other guy. In fact, when you’re making your case, I don’t want to hear about the other candidate at all, neither directly nor obliquely. I don’t want to hear about Iraq. I don’t want to hear about September 11. I don’t want to hear about medals. I don’t want to hear about the Texas Air National Guard. Or Halliburton. Or Bill Clinton. Or Teresa’s “shove it.” Got it? I don’t give a rat’s bonkus about any of that stuff. As I said here, I’m fairly certain nobody deserves to be president, but somebody has to be. Make your case for why your guy is the right guy. I am totally serious that my vote is up for grabs–and I am sick, sick, sick of being told to vote against the other candidate. Give me something to be for. Comment here, trackback on your own blog, I don’t care. Just talk to me, and make your case.

LAY OFF RICKY

When Ricky Williams retired from pro football this weekend, three groups of people were placed on immediate suicide watch: Dolphins fans, Dolphins coaches, and people whose fantasy football leagues held drafts before training camps opened. Only the middle of these three is justified in holding a grudge.

While today we’ve come to learn that Ricky’s retirement is related to his choice in recreational activities, there is also the larger question of whether it’s wrong for somebody who’s really good at something to walk away from it just because they don’t enjoy it very much.

The Fish fans and fantasy freaks have had their say: Ricky’s a traitor. They’ve got a teeny, tiny little point. The timing of Williams’ move certainly leaves the Fins in the lurch, and probably means they’re bound for an 8-8 season at best. And Ricky was certain to be no worse than a second-round pick in any fantasy league out there. But those are quibbles. There’s any number of reasons why the Dolphins probably weren’t bound for the postseason this year (like say, not much quality quarterbacking), and people who get upset over fantasy football need to put down the remote and take up needlepoint, anyway. It’s a game. In fact, even the games on Sunday are still games. (The games on Saturday are, of course, much, much more important than that.)

But was Ricky’s retirement unethical–or just honest? If you say it’s unethical, because it hurts his team’s chances for the postseason, what are you saying about the rest of the team?

It’s really fundamentally unfair to insist that somebody do something they’re good at when their heart’s not in it. Obviously, none of us would want to be operated on by a surgeon who fancied herself a novelist or be defended by a lawyer who thought about nothing but rock-climbing. Those are pretty clear examples.

I’ll go you one better, though: I wouldn’t want to eat a pizza made by somebody who hated making pizzas. I wouldn’t care to have my car serviced by somebody who hated his or her job. I wouldn’t want a taxi ride from a driver who couldn’t care less about his or her work. I’d much rather deal with people who enjoy what they’re doing and whose hearts are fully committed to their work.

We’ve all had to do jobs we didn’t enjoy, of course, but there comes a time when you have to be honest with yourself and say that the paycheck’s not worth your soul. It’s easy for a 27-year-old multimillionaire to say that, not so much for a 45-year-old who struggles to keep the wolves from the front door. But I wouldn’t begrudge either person the right to walk away and find something they want to do. While too many guys would give anything for the chance, playing professional football is hard work that takes a terrible toll on your body, and running backs have it worse than most other players. I don’t blame Ricky for walking away from the game. I do think there’s a lot of people out there who need to consider how long they’d be willing to take that sort of a beating–even for a Ricky-sized paycheck.

NEW REVIEWS

I have two new reviews up at Blogcritics: one of a pair of CDs featuring music recorded for Bill Cosby’s late 60s/early 70s variety show, and one of the new Kings of Convenience album, Riot On An Empty Street.

Please forgive the laughably bad Cosby impersonation in the former.

NEOLOGISMS #2

Some more words that aren’t words:

newsance: An annoying non-story that won’t go away because nothing else is happening that’s worth reporting about. I thought the Gary Condit story had legs, but it turns out it was just a newsance.

oligarchery: The art of firing poison arrows at the powerful. “Fahrenheit 9/11″ turned out to be a nasty bit of oligarchery.

pallitics: The temporary sense of bipartisanship that immediately follows a tragic event. September 11 could’ve been a turning point for Congress, but it created nothing but pallitics.

Quikzotic: Unexpected behavior exhibited by small children who think you have chocolate milk. He’s all Quikzotic, but I drank the last of the chocolate milk last night!

renonunnegify: To assert a non-retraction of a denial. The press secretary had to renonunnegify her previous statement that the President’s mood was “guardedly optimistic” rather than “cautiously hopeful.:

semiautics: The maneuvers a car driver performs once they get colse enough to a semi that they can read the “If you can’t see my mirrors, I can’t see you” sticker on the back. Did you see that car brake from 74 to 50? That’s a practicioner of semiautics/.

therms of endearment: The extra couple degrees you turn the thermostat up or down to accomodate a loved one’s preferences, even though you’re dying from the heat/frozen stiff. I know we should keep the house at 68 in the winter, but I let my wife turn it up to 72–call it therms of endearment, I guess.

underwhere?: Type of garment preferred by teenagers at shopping malls, or anywhere else they’re out of Mom’s sight.

viledictorian: Any college commencement speaker who clearly does not belong on the stage and, in fact, should have a restraining order forbidding him/her to come within 500 yards of a place of learning.

W-tutionary atonement: The belief that not reelecting the current president will instantly solve all the nation’s problems.

xylophony: One who engages in a poorly-executed attempt at pretending to play a musical instrument. I caught a rerun of The Cosby Show last night–they had all these jazz cats playing, but then the grandpa got up to play with them. What a xylophony that guy was; he moved the trombone slide five miles for every note he played.

Yokel Ono: Anyone who breaks up a group of young urban friends by marrying one of them and convincing them to buy a house in a far-off suburb. Jack used to hang with us, but then he met Jen, that Yokel Ono, and the next thing you know they’re buying a house in Port Washington.

Z-bricking: Any attempt to make a minor, superficial accomplishment seem much more impressive than it is. From the ubquitous game-show prize of the 1970s, which appealed to people who thought having really fake-looking plastic bricks on the wall was much better than paint or wallpaper (OK, given the tastes of the 70s, maybe it was).

MY POLITICAL ENDORSEMENT

With the Democratic convention opening today, I figured it’s high time to remind you that this blogger’s vote is already sealed up.

You hear that, Big Politics? I am an otherwise-uncommitted voter in a crucial swing state and I am going to take my precious vote and cast it for a singer who performs rock and/or roll! MUAHAHAHAH!!!!

(Why yes, it was a long weekend; why do you ask?)

BRAIN FOOD

Steven over the the real PoliBlog disclosed where he gets all his news from; I thought I’d do the same.

Newspapers

I visit these newspaper websites daily: Minneapolis Star Tribune, St. Paul Pioneer Press, Chicago Sun Times, Des Moines Register (which is still my favorite newspaper, especially since it quit pretending it wasn’t biased about fifteen years ago; best opinion page on the planet for that very reason). I visit the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel a couple times a week. I read no ink-stain-leaving, forest-destroying dead-tree-edition newspapers. I get most of the rest of my news from Yahoo.

Television News and Commentary

None. I might watch the local news once in a while. I have little use for television.

News/Opinion Magazines

I subscribe to Reason and the National Review. I frequently buy the Utne Reader. First Things should count here, too, but I realize it probably doesn’t even register with a lot of folks.

Radio

When I’m not listening to sports-talk radio (that is, when Jim Rome is on), I listen to WTMJ from Milwaukee or WGN from Chicago, which comes in clear as a freakin’ bell up here. The only thing I listen to on public radio is Car Talk. I would listen to Morning Edition and All Things Considered if those programs were actually aired on a station I could pull in. But the only public station I can get reliably has these really, really boring talk shows all day long, every day.

Blogs

The first thing I read every morning (every weekday morning, at least), is Lileks. Then I go around the blogroll, reading the most-recently updated sites first. (Here’s a hint: You want me to read your site more often, ping Blogrolling when you update. Some of the sites at the bottom of the blogroll I don’t get around to real often.)

This is not and will never be a “hard news” blog; I can get on a story if I have a particular take on it, but really, TBP is an outlet for self-expression. I read a lot of like-minded blogs, some of which I haven’t gotten around to blogrolling yet. But I have limited time in the mornings these days.

Essentials

If time’s of the essence, I scan the headlines at Yahoo, then check to see if there’s a new Richard Roeper column at the Sun Times or new Kornheiser at the Washington Post. And I read Lileks. Must have Bleat, or day cannot begin. I also read Outside The Beltway, PoliBlog, Arguing With Signposts, and Dave Barry even if I don’t have time for anything else.

So, there ya go. I’m an NPR-spurning, TV-avoiding, Reason-subscribing reactionary who reads some of the most unapologetically liberal newspapers in the Midwest, along with occasionally dipping into the Utne Reader. Go ahead, just try to figure me out.

IMPONDERABLE

Jeff Quinton over at Backcountry Conservative is a good guy, so don’t go thinking that I’m piling on here. He’s an early-adopter who gave a try to the new Krispy Kreme donut smoothie. And he gave it a rather positive review:

The Original Kreme frozen blend was the closest thing to a Krispy Kreme doughnut I’ve ever had besides a Krispy Kreme doughnut. The whipped cream mixed in with the blend was the finishing touch that tasted just like the glazing on the doughnuts.

It sounds tasty, and if I ever get to West Allis again, I’ll probably try one. But what I can’t figure out is this: who needs a drinkable donut, and what’s the point of selling drinkable Krispy Kremes at Krispy Kreme? You’re at the store. Buy a flippin’ donut. I could understand selling this at the hinterland gas stations that sell KKs for a couple hours in the mornings–this would be a way of satisfying the KK jones of slugabeds like me. Selling it at the store, though–that’s just beyond me.

KEILLOR + ALTMAN

From the Minneapolis Star Tribune comes word that director Robert Altman is about to begin work on a film loosely based on Garrison Keillor’s A Prairie Home Companion radio show:

Keillor said Altman is thinking of the story “as a fictional documentary, but I think it’s just a big joke — with Miss Streep and Lily Tomlin as a fading sister duet act, and Tom Waits and Lyle Lovett as Dusty and Lefty, the singing cowboys.”

Judge said “Prairie Home Companion” is likely to be the film’s title: “We certainly want to take advantage of the audience who knows and listens to the program.”

I would go see this movie, and I don’t even listen to APHC. But I do have wonderful memories of Keillor’s book WLT: A Radio Romance, one of the finest light novels (in my opinion) of the 90s.

The article notes that financing for this movie is still pending, but I can’t imagine it being too tricky to arrange with such known and beloved quantities involved.

MARK HASTY: GEEK, METROSEXUAL, OR . . .?

So OK, since my wife’s on bed rest, she’s got time to sit around and think about things, and she accused me today of being a geek. I used my standard comeback line–”If you think I’m a geek, what are you going to do when a real geek comes along?”–but she’s not buying it. My wife went to one of those tortured suburban high schools where geek identification was a survival skill; I’m from a prairie town where nobody was all that cool to begin with.

But I do have to say that, along the way, I’ve picked up some geeky habits–and some metrosexual habits as well. So I’m laying it on the line. In the extended entry is all the evidence you’ll need to make your decision: Am I a geek, a metrosexual, or just a confused exurbanite wannabe? Help me discover the true me. Read on, and give me your opinion.
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