MARK HASTY: GEEK, METROSEXUAL, OR . . .?

So OK, since my wife’s on bed rest, she’s got time to sit around and think about things, and she accused me today of being a geek. I used my standard comeback line–”If you think I’m a geek, what are you going to do when a real geek comes along?”–but she’s not buying it. My wife went to one of those tortured suburban high schools where geek identification was a survival skill; I’m from a prairie town where nobody was all that cool to begin with.

But I do have to say that, along the way, I’ve picked up some geeky habits–and some metrosexual habits as well. So I’m laying it on the line. In the extended entry is all the evidence you’ll need to make your decision: Am I a geek, a metrosexual, or just a confused exurbanite wannabe? Help me discover the true me. Read on, and give me your opinion.
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UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIAL

Spearmint Altoids are to mints what Lance Armstrong is to bicycle racing.

SLOWDOWN

Blogging at TBP may be sporadic for the next few days–my wife’s been put on bed rest so things are very discombobulated around here right now.