VIGNETTES FROM A MARRIAGE

(shortly after a trip through the drive-through at Culver’s)

She: “This burger rocks. God bless you and your bad food habits, Mr. Culver!”
He: “Indeed. And let’s not forget the reckless dietary habits of our fellow Wisconsinites.”
She: “I wonder if he’s still alive?”
He: “I think so.”
She: “How do you know?”
He: “Well, the whole chain’s only twenty years old, so unless he was getting on in years when he founded it he can’t be that old . . . plus, he appears in their commercials.”
She (laughing): “I totally can’t believe I never noticed that! I guess I’m always looking at the food.”

(later)

She: “Is he a big guy?”
He: “Who?”
She: “Mr. Culver.”
He: “Not really. He doesn’t have that Dave Thomas look, like if he didn’t own the restaurant, he’d be one of its best customers.”
She: “We don’t own a restaurant, and we’re one of their best customers.”
He: “Hon, we’re seven or eight of their best customers.”