PICKIN’ ON THE BIG TEN, WEEK 11

Suddenly, it appears that Joe Paterno and Ron Turner may not be the coaches in the most trouble in the Big Ten conference. With their victory over Sparty last week, the Buckeyes clinched bowl eligibility, and wise Buckeye fans had better enjoy this season’s bowl game. It might be your last for a while.

The title picture isn’t any clearer this week than it was last week. Wisconsin is still in the driver’s seat–win out and they win the conference–while Michigan has a good shot at tying. Two other teams could still win a share of the crown (or even win it outright) with a littlelot of help: Iowa and . . . uhh . . . Northwestern.

Meanwhile, Illinois skeezixed Indiana’s slim shot at the post-season, Purdue again failed to qualify, and Sparty is on the ropes. So there’s a very real shot the Big Ten will be leaving a couple bowl slots, giving us all that Wyoming/Northern Illinois matchup we’ve been craving for the Motor City Bowl. And what of this week’s slate? You’ve got a couple teams running for their lives, a couple tuning up for big challenges next week, and the usual assortment of only-for-the-faithful bore ‘n’ snores. We discuss them anon:

PENN STATE @ INDIANA

Of all the meaningless games being played this weekend, this is the meaningleast. Sure, there’s a compelling story line as Penn State tries to avoid getting shut out in conference and a miasma of recriminations continues to float around Joe Paterno, but if they do manage to win, what will they have accomplished? They will have beaten Indiana. Sure, Minnesota and Oregon wish they could say the same, but what’s so special about beating IU if even Illinois can do it?

For that matter, what’s so special about beating Penn State? I don’t know, but IU’s going to find out.

THE SICKNESS UNTO DEATH 13
BEING AND NOTHINGNESS 17

NORTHWESTERN @ MICHIGAN

How’s this for a scenario? Northwestern wins out, Ohio State beats Michigan, Wisky gacks against Sparty and Iowa, and the Gophers get over on the Hawkeyes. If that chain of wreckage should occur, Northwestern gets a share of the Big Ten title.

The only hope for the Wildcats, though, is that Michigan’s looking ahead to next week’s trip to Columbus. (In a borrowed car, perhaps?) I don’t think that will happen, though, since tOSU isn’t even the best team in Ohio these days. Michgan will give this game everything it’s got in a quest to stake a claim to a BCS bowl.

OUT IN THE WEST TEXAS TOWN OF EL PASO 14
HENNE ONE WHO EVER HAD A HART 31

WISCONSIN @ MICHIGAN STATE

So everybody’s talking about how next week’s Wisconsin/Iowa game represents a real danger for the Badgers. Well, what about this week? Sparty’s had some hard luck, but they’ve also hung with the best of the best and made a respectable accounting for themselves. Granted, the loss of Drew Stanton severely hurts MSU’s chances, but still . . . well, Wisconsin’s still got one of the most dominating defenses I’ve ever seen. And Sparty just doesn’t have the weapons. Bucky is on a long wave that hasn’t crested yet.

MAKING MILWAUKEE FAMOUS 34
MAKING LANSING NAUSEOUS 10

IOWA @ MINNESOTA

In keeping with PotB10’s policies of inclusiveness, and in keeping with tradition, I present this year’s Iowa/Minnesota prediction in the Minnesotan language, because we’re all about globalization here. That, and I want Gopher fans to understand the invective I’m about to hurl at them. So . . .

Det Minnesota Gylden Gophers er det bredest sløseri av acquirement siden Tom Hanks inne “Barm Buddies. ” Der er handlingen å det Bekken Bridge færre fraudulent enn det Gophers’ seks seier , det meste av hvilke kom imot barnepleie skolene og barber universitet. Å ringe det Minnesota sekundær toast er en fornærmelse mot uskyldig , hard - arbeider brødet produktene over det hele. Haukeneyes ville ha deres vei med det bløt , fortid red forsvarer. De skal drikk melk fra det skulls av deres offer. De skal omdreining rottene i liten baller av fiskegrøt. Grisen restene inne Iowa , der hvor den tilhører. Du kanne løpe, skjør liten mus, bortsett fra du kan ikke seier.

RETTFERDIG 24
BLEK PLAGIATET AV KOMPETANSE 10

OHIO STATE @ PURDUE

What is there to say?

DECEPTION 13
DISAPPOINTMENT 27

Next week:

• Wisconsin @ Iowa: Does the Kinnick luck finally run out?
• Illinois @ Northwestern: Will Ron Turner go straight to O’Hare after the game?
• Michigan @ Ohio State: Is this starting to look like the last days of Earle Bruce?
• Michigan State @ Penn State: Will you ever see Joe Paterno on the sidelines again?
• Indiana @ Purdue: Who would’ve thought Notre Dame was the best team in Indiana?