2/27/2005

HIGH CONCEPT LISTING, AGAIN

Or, if you prefer, “I’m wide awake and hungry but the rest of my family is asleep, so here we go.”

Items on Hometown Favorites.com’s “Boy, They Were Good, But . . .” list of discontinued grocery products whose non-production somehow impoverishes my life:

  • Banana Beichs
  • Brach’s Watermelon Sparkles
  • Chex Morning Mix (I used to keep this in my desk, for those mornings when skipping breakfast seemed like a good idea at home, but lost its luster by the time I got to work)
  • Chocolite Candy Bar (I’m pretty bitter about this one, too)
  • General Mills Buck Wheats Cereal
  • Hi-C Peach (yes, I’m still bitter)
  • Hostess Chocobliss (grrr . . .)
  • Hostess Pudding Pies
  • Kelloggs Apple Raisin Crisp (only my favorite breakfast cereal ever)
  • Kraft Bacon & Tomato Dressing
  • Lifesavers - Tangerine
  • Lipton Noodles ‘n Sauce Romanoff (in college, when I felt too flush for ramen noodles, this is what I ate)
  • Marathon Bar
  • Nice Mice Candy
  • Original New York Seltzer
  • Pasta Roni Romanoff (I sense an anti-Romanoff conspiracy . . . the Communists have taken over our noodle-makers, it would appear)
  • Pepsin Gum
  • Regal Crown Sours (especially the cherry ones . . . man, I’m getting angry)
  • Seven-Up Gold Soda (like most of the items on this list, I guess I was the only person that liked it)
  • Slice Lemon/Lime Soda (note to Pepsi: I may never forgive you for this)
  • Willy Wonka Skrunch Bar (IT’S AN OUTRAGE!!!!)
Posted by Mark @ 9:49 pm | | Permalink
This post is filed under: De Gustibus & Lists & Ill-Advised Nostalgia

3 Comments

  1. I have a “Best of SNL” tape from the early ’80s that features Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat and the whole assassination attempt on his life. One of my last housemates in college loved that whole bit, especially Murphy’s dual turn as would-be assassin John David Stutts.
    When that former housemate of mine got married (to a long-time girlfriend who had also been one of the housemates), I had an idea to go buy a box of Buc Wheats cereal, wrap it up, and attach a blank card in which I would write (quote) some lines from the “John David Stutts” character and sign it as such.
    Alas, I found out then - in the summer of 1998 - that the production of Buc Wheats cereal had been discontinued. So I wrapped up a box of Buckwheat Pancake mix and continued the rest of the charade as planned.
    Apparently, when my friends - on their first morning as a married couple - were opening their gifts, they were stumped, and - they later told me - some of their relatives were more suspicious than anything. But then something clicked in my friend’s brain, and apparently he bust a gut.
    The couple separated less than six months later.
    The End

    Comment by Paul — 3/1/2005 @ 12:05 am

  2. Oh, and though I never saw the product, I have a pretty good idea why Nice Mice Candy never met with longevity …

    Comment by Paul — 3/1/2005 @ 12:07 am

  3. I wonder what’s happened to all the unemployed Keebler elves.

    Comment by Kennedy — 3/1/2005 @ 8:52 am

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