HIGH-CONCEPT MUSIC

Ten songs I like from ten artists I don’t like:

1. “Save A Prayer” (Duran Duran): I still stand by my assessment of these guys as “no-talent disco hacks,” but this moody ballad about an ill-fated one-night stand is pretty transcendent stuff. It marks pretty much the only good keyboard playing Nick “Two Fingers” Rhoades ever did, and Simon Le Bon isn’t as wretchedly off-key as he usually is. “The Reflex” and “Rio” are still awful period pieces, but “Save A Prayer” has tremendous evocative power.
2. “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” (Poison): When, as an impressionable lad of fifteen or so, I wandered into our local Musicland and saw a poster of that hip new band Poison, I became convinced that the world could not possibly end soon enough. People who dressed like that were supposed to get beaten up in my town; they certainly weren’t supposed to sell records. But sell they did; by my junior year of high school, Poison and G ‘n R were about the only two bands on the radio in Fort Dodge. I hated glam-metal then, and I still do. In fact, I’m undecided what to hope for: that G ‘n R will never finish “Chinese Democracy,” or that they will, it’ll sell 25,000 copies, and we’ll never have to hear about Axl Rose again. But I digress. I’ve been an anti-fan of Poison since they broke ca. 1986; I laughed my head off when CC DeVille came out with his new band Samantha 7 mere moments after Eve 6 had a big hit; and I can’t wait for the day when Poison headlines at the Iowa State Fair. On a Wednesday. In the afternoon. Before the monster truck rally. But “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” is one of the best country songs ever written, and I can’t hide my affection for it.
3. “If You Were There” (Wham!): I’m from Iowa. I had never even heard of the Style Council when a record-club error (forgot to send in the flippin’ card) dropped Make It Big into my mailbox. So I had no idea this song was a ripoff. I just liked its sunny 70s vibe, and I still do.
4. “The Unforgiven” (Metallica): I could do without ever hearing “One” or “Enter Sandman” again, but this spooky song never fails to shake me up. It’s never on the radio, though; I bet I haven’t heard it in a decade.
5. “Tumbling Dice” (The Rolling Stones): There are lots of people who hate Wham! (in fact, I think that feeling’s pretty much universal) and a fair number who hate Metallica. There are not so many who hate the Stones, but I’m one of them. It probably comes from a lifetime of baby-boomer hegemony; after being told over and over that the Stones are the greatest rock and roll band of all time, I cannot possibly believe that they’re even good. But “Tumbling Dice” is. I’m pretty sure that this song epitomizes what people mean by “Stonesy” music. Because I know they don’t mean dreck like “Honky Tonk Women” or “Emotional Rescue.”
6. “Black” (Pearl Jam): While I deeply appreciate the fact that they’ve now moved on to the “we’re so anti-commercial we don’t even sell records anymore” phase of their rock ‘n roll lifestyle, thus putting them one step short of Todd Snider’s ultimate ideal of hipster authenticity, Pearl Jam is still a disgusting band with a disgusting name. However, “Jeremy” was epochal, and “Black” was one of the few moments of great musicianship this band has ever known. Doesn’t make up for the unlistenable Vitalogy, though.
7. “A Place In This World” (Michael W. Smith): Back when “Christian music” meant MWS, Amy Grant, and Petra, I figured that, for the rest of my life, my faith would influence everything but my stereo. Then somebody slipped me a Charlie Peacock CD and things started to change. But I digress. Most of Michael W. Smith’s music has always struck me as advertising jingles for Jesus. Fine if you’re into that sort of thing, but I was not and am not. “A Place In This World” was different, though. For as much as I don’t care for his music, Smith is at least sincere and, whatever you do or don’t believe, you’ve got to admit that this is a really heart-felt performance. (See? I’m not cynical about everything . . .)
8. “The Game” (Queen): I used to love Queen, but that was when I was 10 years old. Now, they’re pretty much seek-button material for me. But the heady sound of “The Game” still gets to me. It almost–almost–makes up for “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
9. “Another Park, Another Sunday” (Doobie Brothers): About the only good Doobie Brothers song which hasn’t been played to death on the radio. And Michael McDonald had nothing to do with it.
10. “I Was Made For Loving You” (KISS): If you’re only going to like one KISS song, it might as well be one that a lot of KISS fans hated. Probably because this song proved they were really a pop band after all.