WHEN MOVIES COLLIDE

• Pattoon: The World War II-era general is reincarnated as a Vietnam grunt; delivers a rambling speech about nothing in particular in front of a giant Jim Morrison poster; is heard to proclaim, “Kesey, you Merry Prankster! I stole your book!”
• Space Jamerican Psycho: Following his humiliation in a crucial basketball game, Daffy Duck goes on a rampage with a giant brush and a bottle of paint thinner.
• As Good Will Hunting as it Gets: Jack Nicholson and Matt Damon in the story of an anal-retentive math genius who feeds the proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem to his neighbor’s annoying dog in a misguided attempt to impress a waitress.
• Koyaanisgigli: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez star in an annoying, pointless, incomprehensible movie about man’s impact on stupid romantic comedies. Soundtrack by Philip Glass and Randy Newman.
• Blame It On Rio Bravo: John Wayne falls in love with a fellow sheriff’s nineteen-year-old daughter; the relationship fails when he realizes he can’t teach her basic law-enforcement tactics.
• Bob and Ted and Carol and Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore: Four college students graduate and move away from the house they shared, but nobody can figure out where to send their mail.
• Barefoot in Jurassic Park: Newlyweds spend the bulk of their doomed honeymoon washing each other’s feet.
• Even Cowgirls Get the Blues Brothers: An eclectic group of young women discover the only thing that unites them is their mutual love for seeing police cars crash into each other from a variety of different angles.