BLOGGING AXIOMS COLLECTED

Since Bryan said he hadn’t seen my first four axioms, I gather them all here for the sake of convenience.

Hasty’s First Axiom of Blogging

A blogger will regret any post he or she ever makes about any figure caught up in a sex scandal.

The Joyner Corollary to Hasty’s First Axiom

There are also certain names which a blogger is better off not invoking at all, scandal or not.

Hasty’s Second Axiom of Blogging

There is no topic so controversial and interesting that the blogosphere can’t make people thoroughly sick of it within five days.

Hasty’s Third Axiom of Blogging

The quality of your most recent post and the likelihood of a catastrophic server failure are directly related.

Hasty’s Fourth Axiom of Blogging

When you have no new ideas, try changing your color scheme.

Hasty’s Fifth Axiom of Blogging

As the number of blogs increases, the number of comments on any particular blog decreases. Furthermore, as the number of comments declines, so does the number of trackbacks, as traffic-hungry bloggers eventually decide to link only to articles at the biggest blogs. The future of blogging, then, will entail millions of bloggers linking solely to whichever happens to be the largest and most prominent blog with trackbacks turned on. Whichever blogger this is will displace Howard Stern as the King (or Queen) of All Media.

And, as a lagniappe, let’s not forget Hasty’s Meta-Post:

[journalist or blogger] writes [in/on] [name of media outlet]:

A bunch of stuff that confirms my opinion that [[[journalist or blogger] is a [genius or idiot]] or [[name of media outlet] is a [beacon of truth or thin veneer of lies]]]

Heh.

HASTY’S FIFTH AXIOM OF BLOGGING

Hasty’s Fifth Axiom of Blogging is as follows:

As the number of blogs increases, the number of comments on any particular blog decreases. Furthermore, as the number of comments declines, so does the number of trackbacks, as traffic-hungry bloggers eventually decide to link only to articles at the biggest blogs. The future of blogging, then, will entail millions of bloggers linking solely to whichever happens to be the largest and most prominent blog with trackbacks turned on. Whichever blogger this is will displace Howard Stern as the King (or Queen) of All Media.

UPDATE: Jed links and comments and notes his struggles with SpamKarma, which intreprets the ‘free’ in ‘freedomsight’ as a sign that he’s trying to push pharmaceuticals or naughty pictures. My apologies, Jed; I am but a humble liberal-arts grad who knows about as much about HTML as amoebas know about landscape architecture.