OH, THE OUTRAGE

I’ve never heard of July sweeps, but they must exist, since one of the local TV stations is doing a big exposé tomorrow night, and this one is a shocker. Are you ready for this? I don’t think you are . . .

They’re promising to reveal that some goods sold at flea markets are somewhat substandard.

I know. My life is now lying on the ground in little tattered shards, too.

OOPS!

In case you thought the Brewers trading Junior Spivey for Tomo Ohka was not a good move, think again.

Washington Nationals second baseman Junior Spivey fractured his right radius — a bone in his forearm — while taking batting practice off a tee prior to Saturday’s 1-0 loss to the Philadelphia Phillies, an injury that will keep him out between two and three months.

The Brewers’ luck sure has turned around with the new ownership.

TBP MATCH GAME

I got a serious jones for some sugared cereal about an hour ago. On my way out the door, my wife asked me to pick up a few items for her, as long as I was going to the store. Here’s what I came home with:

• A big bag of generic Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries
• Generic Lucky Charms
• Corn Pops
• Fruity Pebbles
• Marshmallow-Blasted Froot Loops
• A big bag of Starburst
• A gallon of milk
• . . . and a 12-pack of TaB.

The Crunchberries, milk, and TaB were mine. The rest was stuff she wanted. Now, here’s the Match Game part:

“I must’ve looked like the [blank]est thing since [blank].”