A RIVAL IN DISREPAIR

This week’s college football BlogPoll Roundtable comes to us from Blue-Gray Sky, where they’ve got rivalry on their minds.

1. Who are your rival(s)?

Well, the Hawkeyes’ obvious rival is Iowa State, though since the series was revived in 1977, the Iowa-Iowa State rivalry has been more like the rivalry between dogs and fire hydrants, with the Hawks 18-8 over the Clones since the Carter administration. But still, it’s the biggest football game in Iowa every year, and a couple of them have even been pretty good games.

Inside the conference, Iowa’s traditional rival is Minnesota (and more about that series anon), though you could make a good case for Wisconsin. However, in the past few years, the most heated conference games have been the Michigan games–they’ve all been great, intense football, and I don’t mind tell you that I even enjoyed the games Iowa lost. Though I hasten to add I didn’t enjoy them very much. Illinois would like to be our rival, based on bad blood going back to the Bruce Pearl era and furthered by the Jon Beutjer debacle, but there’s really no teeth in that rivalry these days.

2. Size up your chances in your rival games this year.

I’m a little worried about the Iowa State game. The Clones seem to have finally learned the difference between a rut and a groove. They finished strong last season; if they can keep even some of that momentum going, they could surprise a few of the folks who have Iowa in their preseason top five. The Clones have enough offensive weaponry to keep the game close, particularly if their very experienced defense can shut down Drew Tate–which they almost did last year. I’m nervous about that game already.

As for Minnesota, I think the Hawks should be able to win that game. The Gophers are a little too happy to be a perennial 6-5 team, and I’m starting to think that Glen Mason just doesn’t care that much about having a great defense. Wisconsin, well, I’ve predicted a major step back for the Badgers this season. Too many replacements.

3. If you could start up a new rivalry with another team, who would it be?

I don’t understand why Iowa and Nebraska don’t play every year. Talk about a logical border battle.

I’d also like to see an Iowa-Missouri game, if only because I would actually like to see an Iowa-Missouri game. But, well, bwauk-bwauk, I guess. If I were Gary Pinkel, I wouldn’t want to play any non-conference games that weren’t gimmes, either.

4. Overall, what do you think the best rivalry in college football is?

I’m going to avoid the obvious Big Ten homer pick and go with Florida State-Miami. It’s a game that always means something not just to the two teams but to the entire national championship picture, and the football is intense. Throw in all of Bobby Bowden’s angst over past Miami games and it just gets better. This is no friendly rivalry; these two schools positively hate each other.

But not as much as they both hate Florida.

5. Lastly, game trophies. What are the best and worst rivalry trophies out there?

Now I will homer out and pick Floyd of Rosedale, the prize for the winner of the Iowa-Minnesota game. Floyd epitomizes everything that a great rivalry trophy ought to be: enormous, hotly contested, and almost unbearably hokey/dorky. Plus it’s great fun to deflate the egos of Minnesota fans who think that the trophy has something to do with Rosedale Mall. (Or at least it would be great fun, but I think more people have met JD Salinger than have ever met a living, breathing Gopher football fan.)

As for the worst, I’ll go with Iowa State and Missouri and their Telephone Trophy, since (a) who cares about this game anyway?, and (b) it commemorates a non-event which no one remembers. That’s hardly the stuff legend is made of; that trophy is not fit to be mentioned with the Old Oaken Bucket, the Little Brown Jug, or the Petrino Golden Carry-On that should be awarded to the winner of the Auburn-Louisville game.

100 GRAND BAR

It has dawned on me that my 100,000th hit* is coming soon–in about ten days, if my current traffic pace continues; much sooner than that if I dare to suggest that Ohio State may not be one of the top two teams in the Big Ten this year. (But hey, who am I to rain on somebody’s sense of entitlement?)

I’m still undecided on how to celebrate this millmilestone. In true TBP fashion, I present:

TOP TEN WAYS MARK MAY CELEBRATE TBP’S 100,000th HIT

1. Pick some halfway-decent football team in the ACC to antagonize; sit back and watch their message-board fangeeks burn out their circuitry.
2. Mess with the style sheets some more so the site doesn’t work with any browser, not just IE 5.0.
3. Assemble some gargantuan but utterly unnecessary list like “100 Greatest TBP Posts of the Past Two and a Half Years;” see if I can get Michael Ian Black and Hal Sparks to savage me mercilessly, then pitch the whole mess to VH1.
4. Go back to VH1 and see if they’ll reconsider that pitch if I can get an interview with Lindsay Lohan’s back-up emergency dog-walker.
5. Finish the Seven Deadly Sins or Bad 80s Cars series, provided I can remember where I left off.
6. Acquire some political opinions, then vehemently defend them in a fashion which makes it clear that I have never really considered the merits and flaws of my position at all.
7. Every day for one month, link to some random Internet item about Spandau Ballet (like this, for instance).
8. Write some actual content for a change.
9. Continue in my campaign to convince the world that anyone with an interest in playing “State West of Louisiana Retain ‘Em” online probably needs the services of an online pharmacy.
10. Fix that header graphic so “The Bemusement Park” is actually, y’know, centered in the box.

*: According to my site host’s statistics, this site passed 250,000 hits a few months ago and is closing in on half a million.