100 GRAND BAR

It has dawned on me that my 100,000th hit* is coming soon–in about ten days, if my current traffic pace continues; much sooner than that if I dare to suggest that Ohio State may not be one of the top two teams in the Big Ten this year. (But hey, who am I to rain on somebody’s sense of entitlement?)

I’m still undecided on how to celebrate this millmilestone. In true TBP fashion, I present:

TOP TEN WAYS MARK MAY CELEBRATE TBP’S 100,000th HIT

1. Pick some halfway-decent football team in the ACC to antagonize; sit back and watch their message-board fangeeks burn out their circuitry.
2. Mess with the style sheets some more so the site doesn’t work with any browser, not just IE 5.0.
3. Assemble some gargantuan but utterly unnecessary list like “100 Greatest TBP Posts of the Past Two and a Half Years;” see if I can get Michael Ian Black and Hal Sparks to savage me mercilessly, then pitch the whole mess to VH1.
4. Go back to VH1 and see if they’ll reconsider that pitch if I can get an interview with Lindsay Lohan’s back-up emergency dog-walker.
5. Finish the Seven Deadly Sins or Bad 80s Cars series, provided I can remember where I left off.
6. Acquire some political opinions, then vehemently defend them in a fashion which makes it clear that I have never really considered the merits and flaws of my position at all.
7. Every day for one month, link to some random Internet item about Spandau Ballet (like this, for instance).
8. Write some actual content for a change.
9. Continue in my campaign to convince the world that anyone with an interest in playing “State West of Louisiana Retain ‘Em” online probably needs the services of an online pharmacy.
10. Fix that header graphic so “The Bemusement Park” is actually, y’know, centered in the box.

*: According to my site host’s statistics, this site passed 250,000 hits a few months ago and is closing in on half a million.