A HIGH-CONCEPT TURKEY

10 Non-Obvious Things I’m Thankful For:

1. Gold-washed coffee filters, because they let me drink coffee with some body to it
2. College athletes who know they’ll never get a sniff at the pros, but bust their humps anyway
3. Toast, one of the planet’s most underrated foodstuffs
4. Since the entire family agreed to pare back the gift-giving this year, and we’re not exchanging gifts until after Christmas anyway, I may not have to go Christmas shopping at all
5. The Police Academy movies, for entertaining me when I was a teenager, and for now reminding me how absolutely flippin’ wonderful it is to be grown up
6. I never bought an SUV
7. I have permission to cook with onions now, so long as I either cut them up real fine, or leave them in big, easy-to-remove pieces
8. Slashfood, as well as Deadspin and Autoextremist
9. None of you actually seem to care what I order at Starbucks
10. Green and orange things, which are almost always more interesting than red and blue things.