THE UNTAGGED MEMEJUMPER

Well, Harry and Dylan chose not to tag me with this meme–must be my once-every-six-to-ten-days posting pattern that scared ‘em off. Anyway, here goes, and I’ll return the favor by not tagging anyone with this meme.

Four jobs I’ve had in my life:

Pastor (current)
Office Manager
Christmas-Tree Salesman
Burger Flipper

Four movies I can watch over and over:

Apollo 13
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
This Is Spinal Tap
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Four places I have lived:

St. Paul, MN
Starbuck, MN
Grand Forks, ND
Cedar Rapids, IA

Four TV shows I love to watch:

Good Eats
Pardon The Interruption
Iron Chef America
Mexico One Plate At A Time

Four places I have been on vacation:

San Diego, CA
Flaxville, MT
Traverse City, MI
Green Bay, WI

Four of my favorite dishes:

Roast pork and sauerkraut
Migas
Non-Belgian waffles with real butter and maple syrup
Barbecued brisket

Four websites I visit daily:

Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
Lileks.com
Chicago Sun-Times
ESPN

Four places I would rather be right now:

Austin, TX
Winnipeg, MB (no, I’m not kidding, even if it is January)
Des Moines, IA
Traverse City, MI

YOU’RE WELCOME

SALSA VERDE DE HASTYMAN

1.25 lbs tomatillos, peeled, rinsed and quartered
3 Anaheim peppers, stemmed, seeded, and coarsely chopped
10-12 sprigs cilantro, coarsely chopped
0.5 cup water
0.25 cup red onion, minced and rinsed under running water
Juice of one lime
0.5 teaspoon kosher salt

Put the tomatillos, peppers, and cilantro in the carafe of a blender. Add the water. Buzz it, occasionally pausing to stir it down, until it looks slushy. Pour into a dish; stir in the onion, lime juice, and salt. Grab the chips.

VITALE CRITICAL AFTER DUKE LOSS

WASHINGTON-ESPN college basketball commentator Dick Vitale is in critical condition in a Washington-area hospital after being thrown from the bandwagon he was piloting. The accident occurred shortly after Duke University’s surprising loss to the Georgetown Hoyas this afternoon.

Eyewitnesses reported seeing Vitale sail over the dashboard of the bandwagon at a high rate of speed. “He just went flying, he looked terrified and he was just shouting, ‘This is not awwwwwesome, bay-beeeeeeeeee!’” said Miguel Alvarez, a Georgetown student who attended Saturday’s game. “I mean, it looked like he was never gonna come down. He went right into the side of a Metro bus, and I bet he was still five feet off the ground.”

Medical personnel on the scene reported that Vitale was conscious and alert after the impact. “Everybody said he kept asking for a medic, but after we showed up, we quickly determined that he was actually asking for [Duke point guard J.J.] Redick,” said a District of Columbia paramedic. “He was pretty badly injured. His nose was fractured and stained, and there was blood everywhere. Blue blood. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Vitale, though badly injured, is expected to make a full recovery in 4 to 6 weeks, or just in time for the popular “March Madness” opening weekend. Doctors, however, are cautioning that Vitale will have to adjust his usual level of hyperbole or risk serious complications.

“Any time you go head-first into the side of a bus, you have to watch your intra-sinal pressures very carefully, because there may be pockets of cerebro-spinal fluid in the cranium, and those can burst if pressures grow too high,” said Dr. Howard Fessler, a neurologist contacted for this story. “I’d advise [Vitale] to limit himself to no more than three to five ridiculously inflated adjectives per hour, and I’d suggest he refrain from talking about [Duke head coach Mike] Krzyzewski altogether. Complete avoidance might be easier than hearing [Vitale] call Coach K ‘one of the better coaches in the profession’ or something similar. But he’s going to have to watch himself. His skull will pop like an overcooked wonton if he holds on to a ‘baybeeeeeeeee’ as long as he usually does.”

Krzyzewski declined comment for this story but issued a statement through a spokesperson in which he said, “Today it feels like we’ve lost more than a game. We’ve lost our sixth man. Without Vitale and his incessant, shrill, barely-disguised cheerleading on our behalf, we would only be a moderately disliked sports dynasty, instead of the deeply loathed cultural force we’ve become.”

A spokesman for Vitale’s family referred all questions to the family’s attorney, former Duke star Jay Bilas.

SHUFFLE OFF TWO BUFFALOES

If you don’t know how the WinAmp shuffle meme works by now, I’m not sure you deserve to have it explained to you . . .

1. Pat DiNizio-Five O’Clock World
2. Back to Earth-Secret Spaces Suite, Part Six
3. Unknown Artist-The Moulin Rouge Theme
4. The Proclaimers-Sunshine On Leith
5. Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass-Spanish Flea
6. Thievery Corporation-A Gentle Dissolve
7. Eels-Permanent Broken Heart
8. The Fixx-In Suspense
9. The Residents-Dimples and Toes
10. The Proclaimers-I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)
11. Portishead-Roads
12. Pat DiNizio-I’d Rather Have The Blues
13. Jimi Hendrix-Purple Haze
14. Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers-Lament For Stacy
15. The Walkmen-We’ve Been Had

IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

The season is over
So this is farewell
We’re heading for Venus
Because there’s no point in staying on Earth without college football . . .

It’s the final countdown . . .

Thank you, Joey Tempest. Here’s your $10; now give me my pizza and get off the front porch.

Last ballot for this year’s Blogpoll. Please remember that my ballot is always unintentionally wacky. It’s just the kind of fella I am.

1. Texas: Whew.
2. Ohio State: Really NOT looking forward to playing them next year. This year. Whatever. They won’t miss a step without AJ Hawk.
3. Penn State: Beating Notre Dame by 14 is much better than barely hanging on against Bobby Bowden. Sorry, but that’s my call.
4. Louisiana State: Gee, and they just had to go off against the ‘Canes . . .
5. Southern Cal: And to think, Brian laughed at me when I dropped them to #5.
6. West Virginia: Oh my.
7. Virginia Tech: Even if they miss Marcus Vick, they won’t miss Marcus Vick.
8. TCU: Extra love for beating the Cyclones.
9. Alabama: Good thing there’s no ‘ugly’ column in the standings.
10. Florida: Look out for these guys next year.
11. Wisconsin: I really didn’t think they had a chance.
12. Auburn: Ouch.
13. Georgia: Ouch ouch.
14. Notre Dame: Ouch^3.
15. Oregon: Though I have no idea why.
16. Boston College: It’s not easy being not-green.
17. UCLA: I fall in love easy, I fall out of it easy.
18. Texas Tech: Because I read the NYT article about Mike Leach, that’s why.
19. Clemson: How can you simultaneously under- AND over-achieve?
20. Nebraska: Oh, like there was any good officiating in ANY bowl game this year.
21. Tulsa: Tulsa?
22. Louisville: I said they were oversold; I was kinda right.
23. Florida State: I think this is the last year Bobby can go without drastic offseason action.
24. California: At this point it gets so bad I’m forced to rank the Bears.
25. Oklahoma: Never thought they’d make it back in the top 25.

DOWN GOES FRAZIER!

Tonight, many college football fans have joined the Grave Dancers Union. Including this one.

Remember, folks, they wanted to fire Mack Brown not long ago . . .