HAPPY MOTHERS DAY?

For once my wife got the kids to church on time without any stress whatsoever. That was the last thing that went right today. In the meantime, we visited a great neighborhood pub expecting pizza and burgers but instead got charged $15 a head for cold, burnt eggs and French toast that couldn’t be cut with a knife. We discovered that Abreva must be made from ground-up crusader bones or something, because it’s $16.99 for a 0.07-ounce tube, which makes it about $3900 a pound . . . or roughly nine times as expensive as black truffles. Alyson spit up on Paula five times in eight minutes, then I prepared a family dinner which everyone in the family ate, though no two persons ate it at the same time. Serena napped for four and a half hours, which means one of us (i.e., me) gets to stay up until 1 AM watching her cavort around the family room.

Oh well, she loved her card. So maybe that’s two things that went right today.