CARSPOTTING, 06/07

Spotted on the way home from church tonight: What appeared to be an early-90s Ford Escort wagon. I say “appeared to be” because there was not actually enough of the car remaining to make a positive ID. But I thought I recognized the basic body contours (wait, Contours were different cars) and that semi-hideous tealish green that blighted 75% of all Escorts in the early 90s.

The car was missing its:

• Front bumper
• Headlights
• Grille
• Hood
• Windshield
• Seat belts
• Window glass . . . all of it
• Roof
• Right rear door
• Tailgate
• Rear bumper
• Exhaust system

In addition, the three remaining doors were all bent in particularly obscene fashions. It looked like something out of “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.”

I kid you not. This thing was an engine, a transmission, three doors, at least one working brake, and a floorpan, rolling down the road under its own power. I only wish I’d had a camera with me. Not so much because I’m afraid you won’t believe me; I’m worried that tomorrow morning I won’t believe what I know I saw.

Clearly this isn’t anybody’s daily driver. It was probably being ferried to one of the local elephant graveyards. But I can’t help but imagine that maybe somebody bought it, thinking, “Well, it just needs a little work . . .”