WHOSE GRIDIRON CUISINE REIGNS SUPREME?

I know that TBP posts as of late have arrived about as often as national championships in East Lansing, but really, I’m trying to change my ways, and I’m always thinking about You The Reader, except when I’m not. So pardon me for being seven or eight days late on the pas de deux between ESPN’s Len Pasquarelli and Ivan Maisel regarding which sort of football is better: college or pro?

Now, of course, you know where my loyalties lie. As we’re fond of saying in Iowa, the only reason we don’t have professional football is because if we did, Missouri and Minnesota would want it, too. The college game is all in all. Even Pat Forde had to agree, though he made the competition sound much closer than it actually is.

We are aware that we’ve trod this ground before, sort of, but you can never repeat a truth too often. So here’s ten reasons why college football is better than the NFL.

1. Accessibility. You can actually go to a college football game. Not only that, but you can afford to get in, to park, to buy a snack at the stadium, etc., etc. Several NFL teams ban tailgating at their precious properties. No college is that stupid.
2. Perspective. Unlike the NFL, where no team is eliminated until week 13, several big-time college programs will be out of the national title chase by the 10th of September. This will force their fans to stop dreaming up what-if scenarios and instead focus on watching and enjoying the games. This leads to the next way college football has it all over the NFL, namely . . .
3. No playoffs. Why is this a good thing? Because, right now, 56 teams get to say they had a good season by getting into bowl games (yes, even the New Orleans Bowl counts) and 28 teams can say they ended the year with a bowl win. If the longed-for playoff system ever comes about, how many teams will make it? Sixteen? And will fans of the first-round losers say, “Well, at least we made the playoffs”? Or will it be more fuel for fireourcoach.com? Be honest. And please–that “plus one” concept will work for maybe a couple years until there’s some dispute about who really belongs in that game.
4. Unchecked psychosis. How else do you explain Ole Miss fans and their delusions of relevance?
5. Better class of cheating. NFL cheaters need clandestine pharmacies and hypodermic needles and all that other CSI stuff. College football cheaters just need jock-sniffing lunatics with lucrative businesses.
6. Domination. Sure, it’s fun to watch NFL teams gut it out and really struggle with one another. Unless it’s an endless series of 3-and-outs for both teams, and that happens more often than NFL apologists care to admit. There’s something magic, though, about watching a good football team execute a great game plan to perfection. You hardly ever see that in the NFL. There’s too much parity.
7. Polarizing announcers. Brent Musberger’s announcing is not to my taste, but I notice him when he’s the one calling the game. Others feel similarly about a lot of NCAA announcers. NFL announcers are bland to the point of invisibility–can you tell the difference between, say, Ian Eagle and Kevin Harlan? And don’t get me started about sideline reporters.
8. Regional bigotry. Sure, we tout this a lot. But do NFC East fans and AFC South fans go at each other like, say, Big Ten and SEC fans? Sirrah, they do not. Maybe because they’ll only face each other once every four years. The bowls give us all a chance to flaunt our good taste in geography every season.
9. Bands and cheerleaders. Ancillary to football, I know, but at least college football has bands (unlike all but one NFL team), and the cheerleaders in college probably make more money and get treated better than NFL cheerleaders.
10. Second chances. When a player flames out because the coaching staff changed its philosophy or just found a new Golden Boy, a college player with remaining eligibility can always transfer. An NFL player has to beg to be traded or hang on until the contract’s up.

I think I’ve made my case, but I can always count on you readers to tell me when I’m wrong. What say you?