BRAIN-ZAP ME, JESUS

“So why doesn’t God just zap people’s brains, anyway?” asked an old friend seeking advice on how to deal with a stubborn spouse. She’d prayed and prayed that God would zap her husband’s brain so he would be easier to deal with. Now she couldn’t figure out why her prayers for this instantaneous personality transplant were going unanswered. She’d asked politely, and repeatedly, as the Bible tells us to do. So why wasn’t her husband suddenly attentive and considerate?

You can figure out why, right? What if God ever answered such a prayer, even once, for anybody? What if we could change other people’s personalities just by asking God nicely to do so? That would lead to a much more entertaining world to say the least. Most of us—okay, all of us—would probably change personalities two or three times before breakfast every day. Who would want to live in a world like that? Asking for an immediate change in someone else’s nature is one of those prayers which is best left unanswered, because chaos would result from any of us humans thinking we had that sort of power to change others on a whim.

Not that there aren’t times when such personality transplants would be useful, of course. But hidden behind my friend’s request is the reality of why we would ever ask for such a thing in the first place. Recall that she wanted him to change so that he would be easier to deal with. I’m sure she was sincere in her desire. But her concern was not for him—it was for herself.

So it’s even easier to see why God kept saying “no” to her request. It was selfish. Married people are supposed to want what’s best for each other, not for themselves. Marriage turns the ‘m’ in ‘me’ upside down and makes it ‘we.’ Or at least that’s what is supposed to happen.

Of course, it isn’t only married couples who seek to zap each other’s brains. If you had the power to warp somebody’s mind, who would you go after? Your boss? Your neighbor? Elected officials? Talk-radio hosts? Hollywood moguls?

Listen: it’s the easiest thing in the world to think that all your problems will go away and the world will be a better place if God just mind-blasts somebody else. It takes far more courage and humility to admit that you’re the one who needs to be washed clean. But whose prayer is more likely to be answered: the one who asks, “Lord, change them and make them more like me” or the one who asks, “Lord, change me and make me more like you”?

Do you really need me to answer that?