I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL

But let’s face it, Hawkeye fans and Georgia fans are in the same leaky boat these days, so why not indulge the fine folk over at Hey Jenny Slater by answering their questions.

1. We’re just a few weeks away from the end of the regular season, so everybody should have a pretty good handle on how good their teams are and what sort of records they can expect to finish with. Looking back over the season, which was the game where your team really defined itself in 2006, for good or ill? Or to look at it another way, which game, win or loss, was most representative of your team’s attitude and style of play this season?

Sigh. It was Syracuse. That game was no fluke. It showed that (a) the Hawkeyes didn’t have much beyond Drew Tate, and (b) there were no playmakers on the defense. You cannot win in the Big Ten without playmakers on both sides of the ball. We all should’ve known at that point that this Iowa team just wasn’t going to live up to its potential. Indiana just confirmed what we already suspected, and Northwestern . . .

2. Are there any teams you think are still hugely overrated? What about underrated?

Overrated: Michigan, who had the good fortune to start struggling in the soft underbelly of the season. I do not believe they could beat Wisconsin with a healthy John Stocco today. Underrated: Arkansas. If you’re going to start ranking the one-loss teams based on who they’ve lost to, they should be ahead of Cal and Florida. Of course, I don’t have them there either, but I probably should.

3. Did your team play any Division I-AA opponents this year? If so, do you think it benefited your team at all? If you were a coach or an NCAA official, what policy would you have toward scheduling D-IAAs?

Yes (Montana). Yes, because without the I-AA Pansy Rule, we’d need to beat either Wisconsin or Minnesota to earn the right to go to Detroit right after Christmas so we can get fishgutted by Central Michigan. Then again, no, we learned nothing in that game whatsoever. I don’t have a problem with I-A teams playing I-AA opponents, provided the I-A teams agree to play in frilly pink tutus and ballet slippers. As we are fond of saying around here, Competition creates competitors.

4. Which not-a-typical-national-powerhouse team (i.e. no Ohio States or USCs) has played well enough this year to set themselves up for a breakout season in ‘07?

I’m with HJS on this: Look out for Moo Moo Mizzou next year. It’s fair to say that Gary Pinkel never knew what do with (or even make of) Brad Smith; it’s apparent that Pinkel is now running an offense which is more to his liking. They’re going to have to get better on defense to threaten the Top Ten, though. I like Nebraska next year, too. But if I were Greg Schiano, I’d take the money and run, because it may not be there after next year.

5. Take a look at your team’s bowl prospects this season. Which bowl(s) do you think you have a reasonable shot of ending up in? Of the teams you might likely face in a bowl, which team would you most want to play and why (maybe you’ve always wanted to see how your team would match up with them, maybe there’s an old score you want to settle, or maybe you just want to finish the season with an easy win)? Conversely, which potential opponent would you really like to avoid in a bowl game?

As I’ve said previously, hello, Detroit!

OK, realistically, Iowa and their 25,000 fans who will go anywhere are a good bet to avoid ever being the last Big Ten team picked for a bowl. But that’s what will happen if the Hawks don’t win at least one of the two remaining games, and I don’t like their chances against Central Michigan and their creepy brand of ninja football. Plus we were among the first on the Brian Kelly Greatness Express.

One more victory would probably send Iowa to the Insight Bowl. The folks in Phoenix were pleased with how well Iowa State fans traveled in the Sage Rosenfels Epoch and would probably welcome a repeat of that over, say, Indiana. That would put Iowa against the #6 team in the Big 12. CFN says that would be Texas Tech, which would be horrible for the Hawkeyes, but you never know. As we learned last week, that’s why they play the games. It would be nice if that would occasionally, y’know, work out in our favor.

6. In a roundtable question during the off-season, we were asked whom you’d pick if your current coach fell deathly ill and you had to select another coach to lead your team to victory. Let’s turn this around and imagine that you’ve somehow schemed your way onto the search committee to select your biggest rival’s next head coach. Which rival would that be, and which coaching sooper genius would you try to stick them with?

This may not be such a hypothetical question, as Dan McCarney may be on his way out at Iowa State, and really, isn’t it about time Terry Allen got another shot at being a head coach?