SNOW SHOVEL BLUES

maybe somewhere today people–
tan, unencumbered
flat-stomached people
are feeling warm sand
forcing its way up between their Edenic toes
underneath protean palm trees

in my delusion
I imagine them
thinking about me
with my dried, cracked knuckles
open to the chilled lake breeze
and my cheap plastic shovel
my lone apologia
against what God hath wrought
all over my driveway and my sidewalk

but why would they care?
and why do I?
there’s life enough for both of us

SHUFFLE FOR A SNOWY SUNDAY

1. “Dora Goes to Town” (Andrew Bird)
2. “Timothy” (dada)
3. “All at Sea” (Jamie Cullum)
4. “Can’t Get Enough of You Baby” (Smash Mouth)
5. “Lamento” (Duke Pearson & Flora Purim)
6. “Moms TV” (American Music Club)
7. “I Apologise” (Husker Du)
8. “Never Recover” (The Cardigans)
9. “Follow Your Bliss” (B-52’s)
10. “Here Comes Your Man” (Pixies)

LIFE’S PECULIAR LITTLE MILESTONES

So help me, I think I like tea more than coffee. This is a change.

TOWN CAR!

What Famous Leader Are You?
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I strongly recommend the 45-question test.

CONFUSE-YOUSE SAY . . .

What I Hope Are My Next Ten Fortune Cookies

1. General Tso really likes your chicken better.
2. Your enemies will become famous in a spectacularly humiliating fashion.
3. They will pick Drew Carey over Louie Anderson to star in the movie about your life.
4. Everyone at the table will give you $20.
5. You will take a short, insignificant journey in the distant future.
6. Help! I’m being held prisoner in a metaphor for cultural hegemony!
7. Your idea for “sweet OR sour pork” is not good.
8. Confucius say, “I can decline verbs in English just fine.”
9. Certainly, but not with you.
10. In fact, you CAN tell the difference between cilantro and grass clippings.