CONFUSE-YOUSE SAY . . .

What I Hope Are My Next Ten Fortune Cookies

1. General Tso really likes your chicken better.
2. Your enemies will become famous in a spectacularly humiliating fashion.
3. They will pick Drew Carey over Louie Anderson to star in the movie about your life.
4. Everyone at the table will give you $20.
5. You will take a short, insignificant journey in the distant future.
6. Help! I’m being held prisoner in a metaphor for cultural hegemony!
7. Your idea for “sweet OR sour pork” is not good.
8. Confucius say, “I can decline verbs in English just fine.”
9. Certainly, but not with you.
10. In fact, you CAN tell the difference between cilantro and grass clippings.