(S)ELECTION DAY

On the same day my beloved North Central Conference gets fitted for a toe tag comes word that Iowa has apparently found a new head basketball coach, with a press conference expected by about this time tomorrow. Irresponsible speculation is our specialty around here, so let’s examine the possibilities–who’s the next guy for the Hawkeyes?

Kirk Speraw, head coach, Central Florida: Lots of folks are just assuming it’s him at this point. Speraw is a former Hawkeye player who comes endorsed by the last unquestionably good head basketball coach in Iowa City: Lute Olson. Personally, right now, I don’t think it’s him. Don’t ask me why; I just don’t. Speraw’s hiring would probably cause Iowa message boards to implode–”Oh, great, another guy named Kirk that nobody’s ever heard of”–and some people might even call that a bad thing.

Reggie Theus, head coach, New Mexico State: This would be a certain attention-grabber and, honestly, Theus may be the only candidate anybody out there has actually heard of. Theus has done okay for himself recruiting kids to come to Los Cruces; recruiting to Iowa City might be easier. However, this would be a “novelty hire” and everyone would more or less know that Theus wasn’t going to be a long-term answer in Iowa City.

Rick Majerus, professional head-coaching candidate: He’s been offered free burritoes for life by Panchero’s Mexican Grill if he takes the job. I only wish I was making that up. I don’t think he’s a serious candidate.

Steve Lavin, ditto: No burritoes for him, though.

Todd Lickliter, head coach, Butler: A last-minute possibility, but I’m not sure Iowa wants to tab a Missouri Valley coach again.

Lon Kruger, head coach, UNLV: Says he’s not a candidate. We all know what that means.

Tom Crean, head coach, Marquette: Supposedly being reported by a radio station in Omaha. I have my doubts, but I report what other people report, you decide what other people decide.

Somebody Else, somebody else: Here’s my pick. A total surprise candidate. I guess we’ll find out.