BLOGPOLL BALLOT #7

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	—
2	Ohio State	6
3	Southern Cal	—
4	California	2
5	Wisconsin	4
6	Kentucky	6
7	South Florida	7
8	Florida	4
9	Boston College	2
10	West Virginia	5
11	Cincinnati	5
12	Oklahoma	10
13	Oregon	3
14	Georgia	5
15	Texas	8
16	Arizona State	7
17	Missouri	5
18	Hawaii	1
19	Arkansas	1
20	Rutgers	5
21	Kansas State	5
22	South Carolina	2
23	Purdue	2
24	Virginia	2
25	Connecticut	1

Draft. Commentary to follow later.

WON’T YOU PLEASE HELP OUT?

I need your help, people. I’m taking up a collection. I need to raise $30, and I need to raise it TODAY.

Why?

Because I want to buy a VCR and send it to Kirk Ferentz. It is sad, just beyond sad, that a fine university like the University of Iowa must suffer because its football program lacks a VCR for watching game tape. Won’t you please help me right this most regrettable wrong? For less than the price of three large pizzas, we can help ensure that the Hawkeye football program will finally be able to review their past mistakes and maybe, just maybe, avoid repeating them over and over again. And again. And again.

Please, won’t you think of the childrenyoung adults?

THIS IS ABOUT THE POINT . . .

. . . where, when I was younger, I would switch off the Hawkeyes and turn on PBS to watch the white guy with the Afro who painted “happy little trees.”

PICKIN’ ON THE BIG TEN, v2007.05

So one week has gone by in the conference season now and we have learned–what? Oh, right, we haven’t learned anything we didn’t already know, apart from the fact that Penn State’s early success was more than a little illusory.

This week, however, is a better sorting-out week than most people probably think. There are a couple contests that may wind up having a huge influence over who will be up at the top with Ohio State and Michigan at the end of the conference season, and a couple more contests which may not look compelling now, but almost certainly will have a lot to do with who winds up in what bowl games at the end of the season. So let’s just take a

*crunch* OWWWWowowowowowowowow . . . owww . . . OW!

Sorry. I was just thinking about Iowa’s wide-receiver situation, and I tore my ACL. Can I bum some Advil from somebody?

PENN STATE @ ILLINOIS

Speaking of a game with massive sorting implications, here’s one. Penn State got exposed last week by Michigan (who appear to be well on their way back, but that’s another preview) while Illinois put together what I think might be their first good defensive performance in the nine seasons I’ve been writing this here column. The Illini flummoxed a not-that-bad Indiana squad by forcing the Hoosiers’ mobile QB to throw the ball, which he did not do very well. The Hoosiers ran for only 134 yards, and totally failed to stop the Illini runners. Well, guess what might be the best possible game plan to beat the Nits? Force AJ Morelli to throw the ball. Just the thought of that is enough to make Penn State fans disgorge their breakfasts.

Hey . . . there’s some neat symmetry here for football fans in Illinois! Not only did the Bears finally bench Rex Grossman, but now, here comes a PSU team that looks an awful lot like the Chicago Bears!

First team to 14 points wins this game. Penn State may have a good defense, but they have exactly ZERO offensive playmakers, and Illinois has several. Much as it’ll bug Orson and Stranko, Zook, I think, will take the Illini to a bowl this year. I can’t believe I just wrote that.

INDIANA @ IOWA

Like I mentioned in previous POTBTs, this is the game where Iowa fell apart last season, leaving the middle of the field and the underneath route wide open all day long while Kellen Lewis and James Hardy simply picked their bones clean. It’s safe to guess that Iowa has spent the week studying film from last week’s Illinois game, and it’s safe to guess that Iowa’s front seven can stuff the run better than Illinois’ can. The real questions are (1) Can the Iowa defense find a way to cover the underneath routes that killed them last year, and (2) can the offense score more than 14 points against a team with a pulse?

Much is made of the Hawks’ numerous injuries at wideout but the cupboard isn’t bare–James Cleveland is serviceable, Colin Sandeman was about the only bright spot in the Iowa offense against Iowa State, and wherever Derrell Johnson-Koulianos lines up, he’s a threat. Add the reality that Iowa played an intense, emotional game against Wisconsin last week after looking so flat the week before, and don’t forget the revenge factor and . . . oh, who am I trying to kid? The Hawks haven’t covered the middle of the field since Bob Sanders left town. Why on earth would anybody think they’d start this week?

OHIO STATE @ MINNESOTA

Which is softer: Ohio State’s non-conference schedule, or Ohio State’s conference schedule? Northwestern and Minnesota back-to-back? Feh.

MICHIGAN @ NORTHWESTERN

Michigan = getting better. Northwestern = not.

NOTRE DAME @ PURDUE

The best of all possible cures for the Irish’s offensive woes: a team that doesn’t play defense. Unfortunately, Purdue doesn’t play defense because Purdue doesn’t have to play defense. Unfortch, the Boilers have lost their top running back. A pity. The best way to beat the Irish is to run the ball, but maybe now ND fans can find out if their secondary is bad too.

MICHIGAN STATE @ WISCONSIN

One of these teams is for real. One of them isn’t. My advice? Go with the team that has the pass rush. Uh, that would be Sparty, who is really starting to give me fits. I keep thinking they’re going to win, which normally means that they should lose, but they haven’t yet. Thus I’m merely being set up for some spectacular failure in a later week. Or maybe this week. Who knows?

Next week:

• Wisconsin @ Illinois: Game delayed 45 minutes because the Badgers’ bus got pulled over for speeding south of Rockford
• Minnesota @ Indiana: A must-win for both teams, but for entirely different reasons
• Eastern Michigan @ Michigan: Disgusting
• Northwestern @ Michigan State: Wait, no, THIS is the one Sparty will lose
• Iowa @ Penn State: Will make the ‘04 game look like Hawaii/Texas Tech
• Ohio State @ Purdue: Hope you enjoyed being undefeated, Pete

BLOGPOLL BALLOT #6

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	—
2	Oklahoma	—
3	Southern Cal	—
4	Florida	—
5	West Virginia	—
6	California	—
7	Texas	—
8	Ohio State	—
9	Wisconsin	1
10	Oregon	3
11	Boston College	—
12	Kentucky	9
13	Penn State	4
14	South Florida	5
15	Rutgers	—
16	Cincinnati	2
17	Hawaii	—
18	Arkansas	2
19	Georgia	3
20	Michigan State	3
21	Clemson	3
22	Missouri	4
23	Arizona State	3
24	South Carolina	12
25	Purdue	1

Discussion:

• I’d already dropped Nebraska last week but I wish I could drop them again this week.
• Kentucky might be really good.
• I think I might still be overrating Penn State. I know I’m overrating Wisconsin, but what do I do with them?
• Everything from 18 on is a guess. I mean, those are the right teams, in my opinion, but I’m not at all sure about the order they’re in.
• Louisville. Eeeeyulch. Way to go, matching the scoring total of the Big Ten’s least productive offense against the ‘Cuse, while failing to stop them from doing anything they pleased on offense.

PICKIN’ ON THE BIG TEN, v2007.04

Editor’s note: Mark Hasty is on one of his all-too-frequent Hawkeye-induced “vacations.” We had to go to great lengths to find a guest columnist for this week, but as you’ll see, we succeeded. We found a man who needs no introduction, mostly because he always gives himself one . . .

“This is Howard Cosell, and I realize that my appearance in this space may cause considerable consternation among those of you who believed me to be deceased. Let me assure you that I am. Yet not even my sepulchral sequestration can blind me to the fact that the inaptly and ineptly named Big Ten Conference is nothing more than a bitter, tragic joke. Not only are their counting skills atrocious, but with the possible exceptions of the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Nittany Lions of Pennsylvania State University, no team in the conference can truly be called ‘big.’

“Nevertheless, since opportunities to express my opinion are scarce to come by in my present state of affairs, I am truly honored to pick this week’s games on behalf of the distinguished Mr. Hasty. May he get well soon, and may his exact whereabouts be determined quickly. Now, without further ado, let us turn our attention to the games.”

ILLINOIS @ INDIANA

“The fortunes of the Fighting Illini have fallen dramatically since the days of Harold ‘Red’ Grange and other of his ilk. It is always a tragedy when a once-storied program finds itself in a state of utter collapse. Yet a greater tragedy by far is when a talented and beloved coach passes from this life entirely too soon. Such is the case with the Hoosiers of Indiana University.

“Both these teams, to be quite frank, have overachieved thus far this season. The expectations of both programs were as low as they could be. But how often must the conventional wisdom be proved wrong before we all learn to question that to which everyone is quick to assent?

“These teams match up reasonably well, with Illinois’ rushing attack, Indiana’s unrelenting aerial assault, and neither team’s ability to play wonderful defense. Momentum in football always favors the home team, and I believe that oft-cited dictum will attend here.”

PENN STATE @ MICHIGAN

“Joseph Paterno has been coaching the Penn State Nittany Lions so long that I actually remember him. Though his teams have hit some misfortune both on and off the field in recent years, he has admirably answered the naysayers who regarded him as too old to coach the contemporary student-athlete.

“Meanwhile, the coaching skills of Lloyd Carr have been called into question, and not without some justification. The Wolverines simply have not played like a storied program, but rather like a school which ought to have a compass direction as part of its name.

“Though this game will be played in Michigan Stadium, site of many a legendary battle over the years, I believe that Michigan has already proven what it can do against a quality team. Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. Penn State shall be triumphant, and the calls for Carr’s immediate dismissal will grow ever more shrill.”

PURDUE @ MINNESOTA

“Speaking of tragedy, which we were previously, there is perhaps none more tragic than that which has befallen Minnesota football. It certainly is not the fault of their coach, Tim Brewster, who did not ask the university to fire Glen Mason, the most successful Gopher coach since Bernie Bierman himself. Yet now he finds himself with a team which, as it ever was, cannot defend the pass, at precisely the time that Joe Tiller brings his Air Force squadron to town. Games like this are why college football can never surpass the popularity of the NFL.”

MICHIGAN STATE @ NOTRE DAME

“Ask around the campus of the University of Notre Dame and they will tell you that responsibility for their current misfortune may be laid solely at the feet of one man: Tyrone Willingham, a man who has not been the coach at that storied institution for three seasons. He, they say, is the reason that Charlie Weis, late of the New England Patriots, is experiencing such turmoil in this, his third season.

“Ask again the extent to which Willingham’s own execrable third season was the fault of HIS immediate predecessor, Bob Davie, and you will be met with dull stares and silence.

“Nevertheless, one must be careful not to assume that the difference in attitude towards Weis and Willingham is racial in origin. If there is one thing Jack Roosevelt Robinson and the other pioneers of the black athlete have secured for their progeny, it is the right to be judged on their achievements or lack thereof. If the Fighting Irish wish to cut Weis some additional slack simply because they feel greater affection for the man, that is their prerogative. It is perhaps duplicitous, but it is their prerogative. As for this game, Michigan State shall simply slaughter the Irish, who are a horrible football team right now and are likely to remain such.”

NORTHWESTERN @ OHIO STATE

“I truly apologize, but some things are simply beneath the dignity of a journalist such as myself.”

IOWA @ WISCONSIN

“An interesting philosophical question, one which we all must ponder, is the following: Are my personal strengths stronger than my weakenesses are weak? That question is both relevant and germane to this football game because both of these teams appear to be fatally flawed. The Iowa Hawkeyes have been firm and unyielding on defense, yet to surrender a single touchdown, yet their offense has proven weak. Their opponents, the Badgers of the University of Wisconsin, are quite the opposite. They score points almost at will, yet they yield points almost at their opponent’s will.

“So, then, whose strength is stronger than their weakness is weak?

“Two factors force my hand in choosing this game. Football always favors the home team, all else being equal, which it seldom is, and the game favors the offense, since they are allowed to act, while the defense must react. Thus I must choose the Badgers in this game, a decisive victory for their young coach Bret Bielema, who played for and graduated from the university he must now oppose.”

Next week:

• Penn State @ Illinois: If the Illini are ‘back,’ they need this game
• Indiana @ Iowa: This was the point at which Iowa’s season fell apart last year
• Ohio State @ Minnesota: Look away, look FAR away
• Michigan @ Northwestern: So Michigan DOES play road games! Who knew?
• Notre Dame @ Purdue: Good news, Chuck: Purdue doesn’t play defense
• Michigan State @ Wisconsin: Battle for the Big Ten Dark Horse title

BLOGPOLL BALLOT #5a

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	—
2	Oklahoma	—
3	Southern Cal	2
4	Florida	—
5	West Virginia	2
6	California	1
7	Texas	1
8	Ohio State	4
9	Penn State	4
10	Wisconsin	2
11	Boston College	15
12	South Carolina	14
13	Oregon	13
14	Louisville	5
15	Rutgers	2
16	Arkansas	6
17	Hawaii	1
18	Cincinnati	1
19	South Florida	1
20	Alabama	6
21	Kentucky	5
22	Georgia	8
23	Michigan State	3
24	Clemson	3
25	Georgia Tech	3

BLOGPOLL BALLOT #5

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	—
2	Oklahoma	—
3	Southern Cal	2
4	Florida	—
5	West Virginia	2
6	California	1
7	Texas	1
8	Ohio State	4
9	Penn State	4
10	Georgia	4
11	Wisconsin	3
12	Boston College	14
13	Oregon	13
14	Louisville	5
15	Rutgers	2
16	Arkansas	6
17	Hawaii	1
18	Cincinnati	1
19	South Florida	1
20	Alabama	6
21	Kentucky	5
22	Michigan State	2
23	Clemson	2
24	Georgia Tech	2
25	Mississippi State	1

Discussion:

• No, I’m not moving Southern Cal back to #1. Good for them, really, because Lincoln has never been an easy place to play, but even if it happened in garbage time they let Nebraska have too much late success in that game. I can’t see LSU or Oklahoma doing that. I’d say “sorry” but I’m not sorry.
• If I could I’d make Cal and Texas co-#6.
• Wisconsin is just waiting to be found out but don’t worry. It won’t happen this week!
• About the drops: What else should you do with UCLA after a floormopping like that? Maybe I’m too hard on Nebraska, I would concede that, but I don’t think I’m being too hard on them. TCU, Auburn, and Washington don’t need explanation.
• Yes, I am TOTALLY serious about Mississippi State. It’s hard to win a game in Auburn. So watch the Bulldogs lose to Gardner-Webb this week. That would be just their luck–and mine.

5 LEGITIMATE WORRIES ABOUT IOWA STATE

1. As good as the Jake Christensen-Tony Moeaki connection was last week, it’s too easy for the Clones to key on shutting down one guy, and who else is going to catch the ball? Besides, if there’s one area where ISU’s defense is not weak, it’s at linebacker. No way does Moeaki go for more than 100 yards against ISU.
2. Todd Blythe has been way too quiet. It’s highly unlikely that Bret Meyer has forgotten Blythe is on the team. Maybe he’s been coached to follow his progressions differently, but honestly, Blythe has just been creepily quiet.
3. While the performance of the defensive front has been nothing short of astonishing, look who it’s come against. And along those same lines, Southern Illinois got 34 points on NIU . . . Iowa got less than half that. Not that ISU has been burning up the field on offense, but again, look at who Iowa’s success has come against.
4. If I have a complaint against Ferentz’s teams (and I do), it’s the undisciplined way they play at times, drawing oodles and gobs of drive-extending (or drive-killing) penalties. Through two weeks, how are the Hawkeyes doing in avoiding penalties? They’ve drawn the third-most penalty yards in Division I-A.
5. And guess who is third from the BOTTOM of the penalty yard list? Iowa State. Say what you will about Chizik’s first two games, his players are avoiding penalties. They’re not avoiding mistakes (obviously), but they’re not making the sort of mental errors that lead to penalties. It would be very dangerous to assume that Iowa State will beat themselves tomorrow.

DANCING UPON MY PAYCHECK

If you pick up today’s paper version of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, you’ll see a full-page ad from the Big Ten Network, letting you know that Time-Warner’s intransigence is the reason you won’t see this weekend’s Wisconsin/Citadel matchup, a game airing exclusively on the Big Ten Network. The paper itself has even taken notice of this, and in what has to be a rare move, JS sports business reporter Don Walker has even held forth on an ad running in the paper that employs him. Sort of. It’s not like he says anything controversial.

It’s an open secret that the Big Ten Network wants to be on basic cable–all the better to sell a “potential audience” to advertisers–and that it wants $1.10 per month per subscriber from cable companies in the greater Big Ten area.

My cable company is one of those that hasn’t signed on yet and the more I think about it, the more glad I am that they’ve held out. I’m already paying more than a hundred grickles a month for digital cable and high-speed internet. I get about 125 channels, by my estimation. That tells me that they’re all getting a whole lot less than $1.10 per month each. In fact, I would imagine that most of those channels are collecting less than 25 cents a month from me. But what if my cable company gave in on this and paid the Big Ten Network $1.10 every month for the right to their programming? How many other channels would want Big Ten-type money? Would I pay $250 a month for cable? Uh, no. Not even close.

The Big Ten’s assumption is that, around here, they’ve got candy everybody wants. And they have a valid objection in that, if their programming is on a tier, customers without digital cable won’t be able to get it. (Yes, Virginia, there are still some people who don’t have digital cable. In fact, there are still some people who don’t have cable.) But is their basic assumption, that most people would gladly pay more to watch their programming, true? Does their business plan assume that cable companies wouldn’t get many complaints about the added costs involved for a channel that not everybody is going to watch? Because, heretical as this may sound, some people just aren’t all that in to sports. In fact, even on the night of the wretched BCS title game, 4 out of every 5 people will be watching something else.

I’d be furious if my cable company started paying the Soap Opera Network ten times what it currently does and passed the charge on to me. Likewise, I’d be livid if all of a sudden The Needlework Network plopped down in my basic cable and my bill went up. And I already wonder what I’m paying for RFD TV, which has to have a pretty limited audience in the Milwaukee suburbs.

Besides, it’s not like there isn’t more football–even more Big Ten football–on TV than I can watch. And I love college football. I’m not sad about missing the Wisconsin/Citadel game. I wasn’t sad about missing the Iowa/Northern Illinois and Iowa/Syracuse games. I’ve already found that following along with the written play-by-play on Yahoo Sports is a far better way to keep tabs on multiple games.

The more I think about it, the more I think that the Big Ten Network may be doomed. They can’t possibly be making any money right now, and they need the cable companies much more than the cable companies need them. Everyone is banking at this point that everything will be worked out in time for basketball season. Reading between the lines, that means that somebody is banking on the idea that Big Ten basketball is more popular than Big Ten football. Seems like a dangerous assumption to me.