TOWN CAR!

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I strongly recommend the 45-question test.

THIS IS EASIER THAN ACTUALLY WRITING SOMETHING

How strange is Mark? Take my quiz! Take This Quiz | See Scores | Make Own Quiz

SUNDAY QUESTION (IMPERTINENT)

Has there ever been a worse car name than “Ford Probe”? Just wondering.

GROUCH POTATOES

So tell me, which will happen first?

• Terrell Owens will exhibit a moment of true humility;
• Jay Mariotti will publish a column which does not express deep disappointment with a Chicago sports figure, or
• Skip Bayless will seem happy about something–anything?

ASHTON KUTCHER?

the Prankster (47% dark, 30% spontaneous, 27% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | COMPLEX | LIGHT Your humor has an intellectual, even conceptual slant to it. You’re not pretentious, but you’re not into what some would call ‘low humor’ either. You’ll laugh at a good dirty joke, but you definitely prefer something clever to something moist. You probably like well-thought-out pranks and/or spoofs and it’s highly likely you’ve tried one of these things yourself. In a lot of ways, yours is the most entertaining type of humor because it’s smart without being mean-spirited. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Conan O’Brian - Ashton Kutcher

For the record, I hate pranks.

Thanx and a Tip O’ The Hat to Bryan.

TBP MATCH GAME

I got a serious jones for some sugared cereal about an hour ago. On my way out the door, my wife asked me to pick up a few items for her, as long as I was going to the store. Here’s what I came home with:

• A big bag of generic Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries
• Generic Lucky Charms
• Corn Pops
• Fruity Pebbles
• Marshmallow-Blasted Froot Loops
• A big bag of Starburst
• A gallon of milk
• . . . and a 12-pack of TaB.

The Crunchberries, milk, and TaB were mine. The rest was stuff she wanted. Now, here’s the Match Game part:

“I must’ve looked like the [blank]est thing since [blank].”

REAL-LIFE ETHICS

Suppose you were on your cell phone and your dentist’s office rang you up. Then. when you answered, they said, “This is Dr. So-and-such’s office, would you please hold?”–is it rude to hang up immediately, or should you wait at least five nanoseconds?

Just wonderin’, that’s all.

TBP CHALLENGE: INAPPROPRIATE BUSINESS NAMES

So we’re coming back from dinner tonight when we drive past the neighborhood strip mall and I see a store called “Dress Barn.” Who on earth would shop there? Fashion and farm animals really don’t mix well. But I got to thinking that I could make a neat challenge out of this, and here it is: Combine two words, the first a consumer product or service, and the second a building or building part, to come up with the worst possible name for a retail business. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Tuxedo Hut
• Clam Fort
• Taco Mezzanine
• Hat Gazebo
• Caviar Shack
• Yogurt Yurt
• Hair Foyer
• Futon Crawlspace

Post here in the comments, or post on your own blog and track back to this post. Winner gets an impressive but vague sentence of praise, like, “Of all the blogs I’ve read, Dexter Fedurkowicz’s is one of the most recently updated.” Suitable for framing or shameless self-promotion.

I AM THE BOSTON RED SOX

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EXPLAINING THE POISON

Yes, Sam, I’m happy to explain why I asked the question I asked in the below post. It started about a week ago when my wife came home after a “mom’s night out” at my stepdaughter’s school. My wife started talking about how all the other moms were dealing with questions their kids (mostly first-graders) had about sex, and we both were a little taken aback at how casual sexual attitudes had become. I mean, I’m in my early thirties, so it’s not like I belong to a bygone era, but since when do first graders know bubkis about sex?

No, I am not naive–I am aware that sex play is a part of childhood for many kids. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the parents of my stepdaughter’s classmates are roughly my age. We grew up in the “just say no” era when we were taught that smoking will kill you (faster than you would die otherwise, at least) and drugs were dangerous–so we all drank instead, and the truly rebellious engaged in unusual levels of sexual experimentation.

Within 7-8 years of our graduation, alcohol was a bit more under control and the presence of uniformed police in many schools put the kibosh on drugs–so the kids started having lots of sex, prompting the “virginity pledge” movement. Now sex is (slightly) more under control–but the kids are starting to get violent.

So it just seems to me like all we’ve done is trade one form of socially-inacceptable rebellion for another, and I started to think that maybe, back in the day, we’d have been better off if we would have just let kids smoke. Tobacco doesn’t affect your ability to drive, it doesn’t lower your inhibitions, yada yada yada. And I just wondered if I was way off base in my thinking, so I thought I’d pose the question.

Anyway, it was an interesting discussion. And I’m with Bryan : the way some of you qualified your sex advocacy, I feel like I should be able to suggest the use of a special non-addictive tobacco which could be delivered in a fashion that didn’t have any adverse health effects at all.